It's Like Pulling Teeth

Or at least having a crown put on one.  This week Lil Bro had to have a crown put on a baby tooth.  I was relieved to hear that this tooth was a product of poor formation in the womb and not poor dental habits at my house.  All his other teeth were just fine.  Now he has a yucky silver tooth in the back of his mouth and I have to say how cool it is and what a great job he did.  The truth?

I hate that darn thing and I hate that when a person sees metal in a 4 year old's mouth we naturally think "poor dental care" which is a form of "poor care".  But I'll just have to get over that one.

The truth is that Lil Bro did not do well at all but if the meds they gave him did their job he has no memory of it.  The drug combo that they give him makes him "drunk".  We now know that he is a mean drunk and so we hope he never takes up that habit.  In fact he was very much like Miss Fabulous when she is not stable on her bipolar meds.  It reminded me how much of what she deals with is chemical in nature. 

Miss is doing well at school although she hates the way her new class runs.  There is a lot of independent work because the teacher is handling both 2nd and 3rd grade classes.  Miss does not like independent work but she is handling it just fine.  Her work looks better than ever.  Her teacher "loves having her in class" her behavior is classified as roll model.  She comes home and rages over homework and bathtime.

We are working with her behavior therapist in helping Miss to connect the two worlds.  If you can be a roll model at school you can certainly keep yourself from raging at home.

It is very much like the guy who is charming and well liked at the office but comes home and beats the snot out of his wife for burning the potatoes.  Not good. 

So we are working on it and yeah it's a little like pulling teeth or at least dealing with a drunk 4 year old who is having a crown put on.

September - Me No Likey

September is just not her month.  Miss Fabulous has been a moody little person these days.  She had another big rage but was able to keep herself from getting violent toward anyone else, so that is a plus.  The long weekend was in deed longgggggggggggg.  But we made it through.

She struggles to get along with any of us right now.  Homework is not so fun at the moment but we are moving forward.  Her reading ability seems to be improving.  Her working independently on homework is improving because Mama got a clue with the evaluation and so has the confidence to stick with it.

I think also she has a teacher who is actually looking to teach and not mother, that is a very good thing.

Mr. Man is doing well overall but not so much in the homework department.  He too is a challenge in that area at the moment.

My big girl who is schooling at home is doing awesome.  She had become a bit lazy on the school front and was starting to give Mom a hard time.  Mom laid down the law and she got back with the program and is working more independent than ever.  Love having her here at home with me!

Lil Bro is still a sweet talkin' heart breaker who is still lovin' Banana school.  He went to a new dentist today and she was awesome and totally made it a fun experience.  He goes back next week for some dental work.  He has one bad tooth that is due to a condition of how the tooth formed in the womb.  But she will be "drunk" for the procedure and we hope that he is a happy sleepy drunk and not a mean belligerent drunk.  At any rate the med combo used is safe, reversible if he has any problems and promotes a temporary 45 minute amnesia so he will not remember anything and we get to tell him how great he did even if he didn't and hey looky there your tooth is all better now.

I have less time to keep up with what's what in bloggyland because of the schooling at home but you are always in my thoughts!

CAT scan and Blood Draw Y'all

I picked up Miss Fabulous from school today, me and the crew that is.  We had lunch at Taco Bell and that was just enough time wasted to be ready to head off to Miss Fabulous appointment for a CAT scan and Blood Draw.  These had been ordered by her ENT to check for allergies and to get a look at what is going on in her sinus region.

I assured her this was just a picture of her nose with a really huge camera but like all cameras it could not hurt her.  What she heard was the voice of adults on the Charlie Brown cartoon.  With the info off of the recent psych eval I should have done a interpretive dance to communicate this message.  I have foot pain and my back hurts so that is iffy at best.

Pure terror on the poor child's face as she lay there strapped on to the table waiting to see what horror was to become of her.  She was frozen and shaking all at the same time with eyes wide open like saucers.  The whole thing took 2 minutes if that and when the technician returned she immediately started crying.  The technician felt sorry for her and started bringing her stuff like stickers and a bear.  I remained calm and assured her that everything was fine and we moved along.  She did not know that a blood draw was next.

Sadly I can not prepare her ahead of time because it doesn't help her, it just begins her anxiety sooner than necessary.  We walked into the room for the blood draw and she saw the equipment and knew where we were.  She sat quiet until the technician pulled out the needled and then she started screaming and kicking the technician in the leg.  The Tech called for back up and I simply sat next to her and remained calm.  The back up person was a gift.  She was kind but firm and kindly called Miss out on the fact that she had simply entered into a state of drama.  She started asking her age specific questions.  Miss would pause the screaming and answer the questions and then continue screaming. 

Afterward we went and got a soda, that was a hit.  Overall I was really impressed with her bounce back.  It didn't send her whole mood into a downward spiral.  The rest of the day went well. 

I was able to speak with Mrs. Summertime Teacher today.  Miss is still not finishing her work but is putting forth more effort and the work that she is doing is better overall.  She is earning a few minutes of recess at the end of recess.  I love this teacher!  Miss feels secure because she isn't getting away with things as much and she is getting praise for doing real work and consequences for not doing real work.

I asked Mrs. Teacher if she recommended that I take the recent psych eval and ask Mrs. Principal to match Miss with a teacher that will be more likely to motivate her in a similar that Mrs. Summertime Teacher has.  She said definitely!

So that's my next move.

Q and A time

Struggling To Stand and GB's Mom asked me a question the other day and I thought they were worth (the questions :-) answering/journaling about via the blog.

On food dyes - how did we figure out what bothered the kids?

Two Words, LIFE Cereal.  Food dye is NOT the be all end all problem for either of the two kids but it aggravates what they already have going on, badly.  Mr. loves LIFE cereal but I did not get it often for some reason.  Back a few years ago he was having a particularly good morning, so much so that we all kind of noticed it.  THEN he at a bowl of LIFE and wham-o with in 20 minutes he was hyper as all get out like someone had pushed the go button, can't hold still, can't stop touching everything, etc. and he became aggressive about any little thing that he did not particularly like.

As a baby he had been allergic to wheat and dairy, we knew because as soon as he ate those things the eczema on his cheeks turned bright red.  It was like a little STOP feeding me that sign.  But around age 2 he clearly started to out grow those allergies and we slowly introduced those things again.

Our first thought with the cereal was is it the wheat?  No because he was eating other things with wheat and not reacting.  I thought preservatives but didn't really know where to begin on that and then I saw yellow # 5 and #6.  What's that all about? 

And so the process of elimination began.  We cut out food with dye in it and his behavior improved and he did not have the dark circles popping up.  When we got sloppy and let something with dye in it slide we got those consistent reactions.

With Miss M we have determined that red dye #40 is a problem for her if consumed in a large amount.  Meaning sprinkles on a cookie is not going to set her off, but it will set off Mr.  However, drinking a cup of drink with red dye in it is going to cause her to be hyper and aggressive and likely go into a tantrum.

Avoiding food with dye is NOT easy, it's everywhere and in everything that kids gravitate toward.  But slowly progress is being made and more products are available with out dye.  We don't get the cute yogurt like Dora and what not we get the good stuff with no dye and we eat it in our little cups.  I sprinkle cinnamon or a few of the tiny chocolate chips on there because the real sprinkles have dye.  They have all become used to it and it's just our normal now.  At first they no likey not having sprinkles on the yogurt.

The question GB's Mom asked was if the other kids felt jealous because Miss M goes to camp and they don't? 

When Miss M is here she is an attention seeker.  She works hard to monopolize my attention because she does not want the other kids to have my attention.  It's a work in progress but it is what it is.  So the reality seems to be that 1. the kids have accepted that Miss M goes to camp.  We have explained the reasons why and they have come to accept it.  In the past Mr. has expressed a lot of 'it's not fair' regarding the matter but not so much lately.  2.  The other 3 kids are getting to go and do things just not at a camp.  We go to the library and to parks and they are still into the pool at this point.

Thanks for the questions!

So far today has been challenging regarding the attachment challenge.  Miss is out of sorts and has already had a big tantrum, no assaulting others however.

It Must Be The Peas...

Thank you for the reassuring comments regarding testing.  I agree that this teams being thorough is a very good thing.  We have an amazing psychiatrist and he is the one that sent us to this location for the testing so I will go in faith, just as so much has gone in a positive way in terms of getting help for Miss M we continue to be on that path.  Thank you again for the cyber hugs and support!

Summer is under way here in Sunny Florida.  The kids are out of school and Miss M is spending her days at day camp swimming and crafting and getting all that energy out.  She comes home and swims in the pool and eats dinner and cuddles and sleeps well.  Yeah summer!

Monday she fell off the bounce house slide at camp onto the rubber something or other.  It probably smarted for a moment but there was no bruise no mark nothing was twisted or broken it was just an everyday kind of ut-oh, right?  Oh no!  Miss Miss put on her best drama and had those poor folks at camp guessing all day.  They called and let us know what had happened and what they had done about it and I cringed because they had sooooooooooo fed the attention beast.  It all worked out not too bad.  She woke up at 10 pm with the fake-O drama in effect.  We checked her out again, still no sign of anything.  Got the pack of frozen peas on it and gave her a big dose of Motrin and called the on call doctor who told me to do what I had just done. 

The next day at camp was an outing to the public pool.  You would be amazed at the miracle a bag of frozen peas was able to work!  She popped out of bed and was ready to roll.  She said, "It must be the peas!" :-)

Wednesday Miss came home from camp with a scull and cross bone tattoo on her face.  I was not wild about that.  For one I don't think that a camp should put tattoos on a kids face because they don't come off easy and you can't cover them up on the face.  Honestly my little darlin picked that tattoo because she knew that Mom would not like it, right O!  Not a problem.  Mom made sure to let camp director know that Miss M is not to have any tattoos from now on, period.

Lil Bro was back at the pediatricians office today.  He is not really sick sick but he finished his antibiotic and he still has some cough and what not going on.  She said he also has an ear infection going on.  That kid never lets you know.  So poor guy had to get a shot in the butt and goes on another round of antibiotic.  Here's hoping that clears it up.

While we were there they gave the kids lolly pops because Lil Bro got a shot.  I let my Mr. have one.  It was just a tiny yellow lolly pop, what could it hurt?

The dark circles and the behavior started 20 minutes after he ate the darn thing!

Anyone that has a child with aggression and hyperactivity issues please explore food dye allergies.  We have determined that Mr. is allergic to yellow #5 and #6 and red dye #40, although we just aim to avoid them all.  Miss M is allergic/reactive to red dye #40 but she doesn't have a problem with the yellows or other colors.

Here's some info from CBS news on the subject.

Testing - intake day

The Fabulous Miss M and I headed over to the university to start the process for a FULL psycho-educational evaluation.  FULL as in the size of the clinicians eyes as the intake of information was underway.  I kind of love how every clinician looks at the angel baby in front of them and then the process that's going on in their head as to how the kid I am talking about is supposed to be this angel in front of them.  Never fear I have video footage and you can talk to the various professionals who have witnessed it.   

The clinician took the FULL history down.  Pages and pages this lady was writing.  I also gave her permission to get information from the Psychiatrist and the CBA.  I told her what I had observed regarding Miss M's learning struggles, took her report cards and interim reports, told her about all the extra help she is receiving in school and still struggling, showed her the testing that we had done by the Linda-Mood Bell center, gave her Miss M's latest test scores from class and the weekly state assessments.

Miss M's demeanor was that of a traumatized unsure kid.  She was offered toys, she refused.  She was offered crayons and paper, she refused.  She stuck close to me and looked at the clinician with big scared eyes when addressed and otherwise she picked at her skin and clothes and looked off into space.  She had a bug bite on her arm that she picked until it was raw and then right in the middle of the intake she let me know that the bug bite hurt.  I offered her itchy cream and she said that would make it sting.  I offered her a band-aid and she accepted that and the we went on with the intake and she went back to looking off into space.

I asked her when we left if she felt uncomfortable at that place and she said no that it was fine.  That's not true and so I am guessing that it will surface a little later.  I asked her later in the evening if she wanted to talk about any of the things that were talked about in the meeting.  She said no.  I told her that everything that we talked about was okay things to talk about and that this was just something that kids do for school.  She said okay.

I wanted to address it but needed to keep it simple and say it in a way that I thought would best sink in for her.  We are scheduled to go back next week and begin the actual testing which will be video taped as well.  (PS I forgot to say that the person doing the intake and I spoke in "code" so while Miss picked up on some minor things she did not understand the big words that we used, mainly she was bored.  I did not give any info on birth mom and that situation because I don't want memories to be implanted for Miss.  I will give that info to the clinician at another time.  I did inform her of the "flashback" which touches on trauma history but that is what Miss had shared with me.)

This evening as we drove home I thought about all the help we have sought to deal with the issues at hand

1. first our child's physician
2. then a child psychologist that had already worked with our son, who advised us to seek out a
3. therapist who specialized in RAD
4. then a psychiatrist was added
5. then the local child services was added, insert Social Worker # 1
6. and 2
7. then a child psychologist who came to our home to work with our family was added
8. then a Certified Behavior Analyst was added (all before she was 6 years old)
9. and we are still at this ... now with a University involved doing FULL psycho educational testing

Let's balance that with all 4 kids are sick again (because I think they never really get over it). 
The dog is sick again and back on antibiotics too. 
The "twins" have had special 'guess what Mom you get to do extra stuff for class this week because it's the last 3 days of school and the teachers have to keep them busy' - Pajama Day, Bubble Day, Pizza Party Day and and and times 2. 
The 4 year old is being a MAJOR toot toot who does not want to take his antibiotics so I had to take him back to the doctor but this time we had to go to the Urgent Care doctor because his doctor is on vacation this week so insert snarky looks from the Urgent Care doctor when I describe that he will NOT take his meds, then she had a go at him and understood what I meant.  I explained that I had put the CBA on the job the night before and that I was making more progress with the 4 year old then the CBA was.  He noted that we don't have an easy kid in the bunch.  Question Mark.
Today Big Sis had a dentist appointment 1 hour before Miss M's appointment.  Mr. C had his routine disrupted which does not and did not go well.  I actually threatened to have his CBA come to the dentist office.  The man next to us was getting really tired of the twerpy kid (Mr. C) who seemed way to big to be having this baby fit.  He tried to back me up and had over heard the threat and so piped up, "She's going to call him!" 
Mr. C quieted down so it was Lil Bro's turn to go bananas over being told he could not turn the stupid bead game upside down on it's wire top.  The thing is big and heavy and he was clearly going to break it so no you may not do that.  Insert the wham-o!  I had to take this child out to the bench in front of the dental office while he through a major tantrum.  He was all sweaty and snot faced and a complete crazed person.  Then Big Sis comes out and tells me I have to sign her out so I had to drag the sweaty snot faced banshee into the dental office so I could sign her out.  I so do not love those looks of 'why is your child such a whacko you must not know how to parent.'  I should however be used to them by now, shouldn't I?

As my dear friend stated the other dear, "motherhood is not for sissies!"

Adrenaline slowing drugs help aggression ...

Adrenaline slowing drugs help aggression in children, say doctors.

Interesting article, thought I'd share it.

Outta Here!

The adenoids are gone! 

Our Mr. had a successful adenoidectomy and nasal whatever! The surgeon removed two HUGE adenoids which were completely blocking his nasal passage. The doctor said that he had a head full of stuff, which he cleaned out. He is recovering at home with Mama and the crew.


When they called me into the recovery room the terror in his eyes was the same that I saw at the orphanage the day they plopped him unclothed in to my lap. It was partly the meds but my Mama heart hurt.

When Miss M had her tonsils out at age 3 she made a huge fuss and insisted that they get "Mama now!" A bug eyed nurse came to me and said that they did not usually have the Mom come back so soon but that Miss was insisting and they wanted her to calm down. They didn't know her, ha!

But Mr. goes inside himself when he is in pain or sick on his stomach and for me that is more difficult to take. I think I handle the yelling better because I know exactly what's wrong and what's going on. With the introvert my mind wonders how bad is the pain and what else might be wrong? What's coming next? I am not really a big fan of surprise I guess. Okay I have my own control issues, most of which have been overcome by this point due to parenting a child with RAD. Let it go has a whole new meaning, survival.

As soon as we came home Mr. wanted to crawl into Mama's bed with Mama. He slept for 2 hours and woke up doing much better. I think more of the surgery meds had left his system. He ate a fruit chiller right off the bat and then took his pain med where he drew a picture that said, "Happy as a whale!" I think that sums it up nicely. In fact he was doing a little too well after said pain med and we have not needed to give it to him since. We are going to stick with the usual pain relievers, the ones without the pretty yellow coloring added to it.  

Pre-surgery pic!

Recovering

At home with a fruit chiller, just chillin!

Medication Station

Well even the dog is on antibiotics.  Daisy the dog developed a cough and $120 later we had a prescription for antibiotics.  She takes it well with cheese and is getting into plenty of mischief so we aren't concerned.

Lil Bro does not take his antibiotics well.  The pediatrician has "trained" me on how to administer the antibiotic, it doesn't work.  He waits until the antibiotic is in the back of his throat then gargles it and spits it out at me then he bites the syringe.  I called the pediatrician and we decided to go with the chewables.  That is working out better.

Mr. gets his adenoids out on Monday and I am feeling a little nervous.  I am confident in the surgeon but Mr. has never had anesthesia and we have no family history to tell us if it could be a problem so we have to just hope for the best.  We discussed the other meds that Mr. is on and everything is cleared there.

Big Sis is feeling much better and she and I are off today to have her earned reward from achieving straight A's, she choose to have the day with Mom!

The Fabulous Miss M is off for a mini vacation at Grandma's house.  She is thrilled!  She is also doing well at the moment stability wise.  It is hard to imagine that a 1/4 mg increase can make a difference but it has, at least for now.

Mrs. Teacher called ...

dunt dunt daaaaaaaa

My first reaction was a ringing in my ears and earths gravity seemed to get stronger just for a moment. "Mrs. Loo-Loo this is Mrs. Teacher." Gulp! A million panicked thoughts ran through my mind all at once, like whatever she has done at school was so bizarre that Mrs. Teacher felt better to call me at home off the record or it has come to the schools attention the Miss M is stealing lunch money from other kids and threatening their loved ones if they tell or ... you get the idea. In that brief 2 second pause what ran through my mind had me running scared!

So why did Mrs. Teacher call? To recruit me and The Hubs to volunteer at the spring fling this Saturday. Awkward pause with insect chirps in the background, Uhhh yeah okay we can do that. Because I could not come up with a proper excuse fast enough, darn! I mean I am so proud and glad to be able to support my child's class and school in this way. (big toothy grin)

Our dear Nan had carpal tunnel surgery Tuesday and is at home recovering. She is doing well and hopes to benefit greatly from this procedure. I got to be the "responsible adult" in charge of her care. The surgery center began to question that when I passed out as they talked about the surgery. So embarrassing! Here is poor Nan with her wrist all bandaged up and the staff is getting me a cup of juice and trying to get me to snap out of it. I made the statement that it is obvious I could not handle all the attention she was getting.

And while Nan and I were getting surgery and passing out guess who was in charge of the little Loo-Loos? That's right The Hubs and because Mr. Behavior Guy was already scheduled to be there he got assist Dad. They went to the park.

Then it was time for baths and Miss got upset because she wanted Mommy and Mr. got upset because he did not want a bath. When I came home Mr. Behavior Guy said, "All in all it went great and the outbursts did not last too long." I noticed that he had indicated there were plural outbursts to which he replied, "Oh yes, they both lost it. But they recovered quickly." Hooray for progress!

The ¼ mg med increase seems to be making a difference for Miss M. It would appear that all the issues are better coped with when the brain is working optimally.

Mr. C was struggling this afternoon. The Wii remote was not working properly and our living room computer is infected with a nasty virus. The Hubs is working to clear the computer of the virus but so far there has been no success. Those two changes in his universe sent him in a tail spin.

Miss M informed me today that H from school was mean and made her cry. I asked what happened apparently when I said, “Is that right?” To which Miss M replied that H had made her cry 2 times when she called her a bossy pants and a meany. I asked what she was doing when H called her those things and in short it seems that she was indeed being both a bossy pants and a bit of a meany. We gently reminded her to let the teacher take care of issues in the classroom because that is Mrs. Teacher’s job and that way other people will not call her names and hurt her feelings. She was done talking about this at this point in the conversation.

Poor thing, the dots do not connect for her that her behavior is offensive to other children. In her mind they truly are the mean one for calling her on what she was doing, “So and so always be mean to me when he tells on what I do.” No longer doing what she is being told on for never enters into the picture.
And that’s one to grow on!
 
In other news, Lil Bro has strep throat and needs to see the ENT about possibly removing his adenoids.  Mr. C's surgery is on Monday.  We did the blood draw on Monday, that went great - NOT!  But it got done and 1 wii points card later we were all doing fine.  

Big Sis is currently sleeping on the couch with a very yucky looking sore throat and it would be my guess that her strep throat is back/never really left.

In the last post we received sweet comments about how hugging our group appears and we all are but… I think that is a huge contributor to why everyone keeping getting sick. Oh well we are building up immune systems.

Streptococcus, Fire Ants, Family Meals and Rages

Well life here was certainly interesting last week.  Big Sis has strep throat.  Friday Miss had to have some blood work done per her Psychiatrist orders. I had been putting it off since January and since she has an appointment with him in a few weeks now seemed the time to get it done. It was not good, never is. It is most definitely a trigger, trauma trigger I think, but definitely a trigger.

Nan met me with the other kids after the blood draw and we took everyone to breakfast. Our little patient got to choose the place to eat and she picked Hardee’s. After that we went to play at the park. The physical activity was doing her and everyone else good but the park was crowded and so the decision was made to move on to another park.

The Universe conspires against me and this time was no different. Mr. stepped in a fire ant mound as we approached the car. He is an allergy boy so his foot swelled to the size of a balloon. He was screaming and crying and we all hustled into the van and speed over to the Walgreen’s for Benadryl in all it’s forms. I switched vehicles with Nan and took Mr. home and she was going to stay on task and take the other 3 kids to the second park. We all communicated these facts, all the kids said, “Okay Mom.” However, Miss did not compute these facts and so when Mom left with Mr. and Nan proceeded on to the park Miss asked the question, “Is Mom and Mr. going to meet us at the park?” Nan said, “No, Mom and Mr. have to go home because of Mr.’s foot. Remember that Mom explained this to everyone and everyone said they understood?” Commence fit in the captains chair of the Mom Mobile.

Nan proceeded on toward the park and Miss knocked the fit off as they drove past the police station, sometimes it is all about location. She was trifling the rest of the day and we were all glad when her bedtime came but we survived.

Saturday Grandma and Paw Paw came to visit. Miss knew they were coming and put on her “company” demeanor. Well they weren’t coming for several hours at that point but I wasn’t going to tell her that because she has no concept of time and I was enjoying the company demeanor. I ran out to the store to pick up something to go with the dinner I had made. I was gone 20 minutes total. In that time all chaos broke loose here in Loo Loo Land.

Nan, Big Sis, and Miss were playing going fish as I left out for the store. 2 minutes later Miss become unhappy with Big Sis, words were exchanged, Nan got a phone call, Big Sis allegedly (we can neither confirm nor deny this) shot Miss a “mean look” across the table. This instantly enraged Miss who began assaulting the person closest to her, Nanny. Nan struggled to get Miss under control and sent Big Sis to fetch Dad who was in the shower. Dad had to exit the shower and dress at lightening speed so that he could get Miss into a safe situation. She bit her arm rather significantly and I chose to notify her teacher of the cause of the bruise on her arm, the one in the shape of her own teeth and mouth.
About 5 minutes into said rage our guests arrive, “Hey there, welcome do come in and make yourself at home. Or, take cover which ever would make you most comfortable.”

I returned home to a couch full of people with eyes the size of saucers and deer in headlights expressions. I don’t know why people don’t come and visit here more often? For one it’s always entertaining and for two it likely will make you feel better about your own home life.

After Miss had settled down and I had gone in to see her I told her to come and join us as soon as she was ready, no hurry and to take her time. She did not want to come out because she was embarrassed and realized that the visitors had heard her. After 15 minutes and she still had not emerged I went in to check on her and she was asleep. That’s a no can do at 3 in the afternoon so I woke her up and she was ready to come and join us. She looked down at her arm where she had bitten it and said that she wanted to put on her robe. She came out with her usual charming company demeanor but was unsure of herself, momentarily.

I am going to put a pause on my story for now and pick this back up a little later.  We have a meeting scheduled for this coming Friday with Mrs. Teacher, can't wait.  Stay tuned!

Crack crack cracking up!

Mr. had himself a meltdown freak out last night and in the process cracked Nana’s thumb when she tried to help Mama out. I have explained to just stay back, I’m okay and I have learned to keep my fingers away from him (after he cracked my pinkie earlier in the winter.) Poor Nana! She is so worried that he is going to hurt me she just can’t help herself.

As kids get bigger it certainly does get trickier to handle their physical attacks. Mr. is a solid 65 lbs at this point and strong as an ox, especially when he is in that state of mind.

In part the start of this thing was my own stupidity. I got lazy. I know that he has behavior reactions (aggression) to food dyes and in particular yellow # 5 and #6 and red #40. I ran out of the clear benadryl and so I gave him the red benadryl doubting once again whether this food dye thing was real or just my imagination.

Note to self – it is real and please stop giving the kid the stuff on occasion when you run out of non-dyed whatever and are too lazy to drive down to the Pharmacy which is a ½ mile from your house. Over and out.

In addition the kids toe nails needed to be trimmed. His big toenails were putting holes in his socks, it was time. He has sensory issues, which truly make this an unpleasant experience. I respect that. He also does not like haircuts but he has learned to get through it because it is something that must me done. I explained that I was only going to cut the big toe nails for tonight, heaven knows it would be unthinkable to do all 10 nails at once. He really gave me a fit about it and likely that was exacerbated by the red dye #40 but I didn’t think of that at the time. I persisted in needing to trim the toenails and we did get it accomplished but he got himself mighty worked up in the process and he proceeded to freak/flip out. It was dessert time and he proceeded to demand that I get his dessert in a most not nice way. I told him I would be happy to get his dessert as soon as he decided to ask respectfully. I think he would have rather severed his own arm than ask me respectfully at this point. He refused, he screamed like a crazed banshee, “Get me that dessert NOW!!!” His brain flipped over to kill mode and he was looking to do harm and harm he did do, but we survived. And Mommy had a refresher course in Red dye #40.

Mr. had to see the ENT on Thursday and he will be having his adenoids out in 3 to 4 weeks. That should be interesting. He has never had surgery and if toenail trimming is not your thing I am imagining prep for surgery is not going to be your thing either. Blood draws are … eventful experiences so an IV is probably going to be … challenging. It usually takes 4 or 5 adults and a burrito wrap to accomplish a blood draw for Mr. I wonder how many people an IV will take? Ah memories. We will be a making them.

Dr. ENT asked me if Mr. had ever put anything up his nose. Not to my knowledge. I asked Mr. to which Dr. ENT said, “He’s not going to tell you.” He said I’d be surprised what he finds up noses. I’m sure that I would be, it isn’t a subject I had devoted even one second of thought to before this moment I can assure you. Happy hunting.

photo by Nasa - Eye of God

More on Coodies and Such

Well I am up off my sick bed, thankfully. This was a nasty nasty flu. It started with your nose running like a faucet, I literally stuck tissue up each nose hole like a cork because the amount of blowing was unreal. The aches and pains and the fever and I thought I was so sick but I was wrong because then the tummy part of things took over and man oh stan it was ugly.


The nanster has started her round of the flu ew. She had to go and be fancy on us and threw in conjunctivitis. So if there were any doubts that our house was the Coodie House I think we can put those to rest, no? The CBA has missed two weeks in a row because I was afraid to let him in here.

Another plus is the weather is starting to get it's act together. Hooray! It actually feels like FL! And that means more time outside burning off energy. This afternoon Big Sis took her Chihuahua for a walk and the boys and I played outside. They played Mario Brothers and I got to be the character that poop scoped the yard, hee hee.

Miss seems to be settling back down as of yesterday and today. Monday she decided that she was not going to get a bath. You can tell that she has made that decision because it will be getting close to bath time and she will just sit down and go to sleep. Not a real sleep but a real good fake sleep. I am telling you the kid needs to be an actor, award winning no doubt.

So as soon as she went into sleep mode we said that it was bath time and let's get that done so that we can move on to dessert (motivator). Nope. So it took a little while and she came very near to a complete rage but didn't. We kept focusing on moving forward and she locked us out of the bathroom. I said, "That's super sweetie, I totally agree. You are almost 7 and totally capable to wash yourself with no help at all. Go ahead and hop on in the bath water and start scrubbing." She was fussing and mad but I heard her get in the bath water and sure enough some kind of washing was taking place. She said, "Mom I'm washed." I was still locked out so I asked if she could get her towel and she did. She came out and I praised her for being such a big girl to wash herself and what a good idea that was that she had. I love reverse psychology when it works.

But as I said she seems back on track. She does not like for Mom to be sick or anything that makes Mom unavailable to her. I feel sure that fear of abandonment is triggered during those times and of course that comes out in all kinds of yucky behaviors.

Speaking of behavior I am wondering if the intern in Miss' class is getting her number. Big Sis said to me today, "I saw Miss sitting on the time out mushroom again at recess." When Big Sis is going from one activity to the next she passes by the area where the first graders have recess. Hey wait a minute, again? What do you mean again? Big Sis informed me that Miss was sitting on the time out mushroom yesterday and she saw her there again today.

I asked Miss what was up and to my surprise she was completely innocent of all charges. I can't imagine. The other person was talking to her and she was telling them to stop and she got into trouble. I asked her if Mrs. Teacher or Ms. Intern put her in time out and she said, "Ms. Intern because she always tries to yell at people." Things that make you go hmmmm?

Mr. had a good day today. Yesterday was tricky but hey that's what we are here for. He gets stuck on something, he sees things the way he sees them and period the end that's all she wrote. When the universe will not bend to his will he tends to get irritated. He failed to earn a Wii time and by the next Wii time he had things a bit more under control. He said that he was sorry for his behavior all on his own and gave Mom hugs and love and even a card that he made.

Lil Bro is a little hunk of sweetness and is amazing and smart and so much fun to hang out with all day.

So far Dad has managed to avoid our coodies but it is only a matter of time, we will get him yet.

And that's news to me!

FASD

Kari posted this and I thought it was such good info and reminders for those of us who already know. 

In the video a girl with FASD talks about not being able to stop herself from crossing the road even though a car is coming. Things just don't communicate in her brain properly and in enough time, Mr. has that issue often. 

Notes from a messy scrub bucket

Okay so this is day 2 of the BRAT diet. Lil Bro is doing awesome and had no poop pants today what so ever. He is 3 but he is also just plane awesome!

Big Sis joined the BRAT diet today. She had fever and flu symptoms last night, no school today (Wednesday). Thankfully she can keep her pants clean so we are not having that issue, with her.


So here’s the deal with Miss –

Monday there was the aftercare fill my pants with poo incident of 2010.

Tuesday BRAT diet and the pants had poo but it was much less poo and the aftercare caregivers were unaware of the messy underwear. Miss came home and had herself a minor tantrum about not wanting to get a bath. Needless to say the kids rear end is not in good shape because she is pooing herself with diarrhea and then wearing it for an hour or two. And there in lies the disconnect portion of things that can be so darn hard to work with. She gets that her butt hurts and she also gets that her butt hurts because of the poo in her pants but in the moment where she is running around and decided not to make efforts to get to a toilet the whole poo pants equals butt hurts just is not happening for the kid.

Wednesday we are still fully embracing the BRAT diet and her bowel movements have more consistency (hey I think the scrub bucket title was warning enough that this was going to be about poo) so doesn’t it stand to reason that there should be less poo in the pants than Tuesday? There was MORE poo in the pants today with MORE consistency to it and there was MORE tantrum today regarding cleaning her pants and getting a bath.

She doesn’t want a bath because her butt hurts. Why does your butt hurt?

Because of the poop.

Correct and how do we get the poop off?

But I don’t want a bathhhhhhhhhhh!!!


She is not okay with the BRAT diet and no one else that is on it loves it either but they get it. Even the 3-year-old gets that he needs to eat this so his tummy will feel better and his butt won’t get sore. He doesn’t like it but he gets it.

With the RAD disconnect feature she doesn’t get it. She is ticked off and I think there may very well be more poop and scrub buckets in our future.

Since she is going the whole day in the classroom setting and NOT pooping her pants but IS pooping her pants while running around at aftercare I am going to speak to the director tomorrow and ask if they will be willing to have Miss go potty before she goes outside. If she is made to have the opportunity to go potty before she runs around outside maybe that will help her keep the poo out of the pants.

It can’t hurt.

Sigh.

BRAT

Yes we have fully embraced the BRAT (bananas, rice, apples, toast) diet for both Miss and Lil Bro. Both have diarrhea with messy pants and this does not bother Miss in the least. Lil Bro is doing his best to make it to the potty, and 42 pairs of underwear later I finally thought to explain, "Do not toot toot in your pants, run to the potty if you have to toot toot and then no poopy will get in your pants." He was like light bulb moment, no more issues in the pants. His were honestly little skid marks of just not making it soon enough, no biggy.

Now if you have a weak constitution you may not want to continue to read on because Miss is having some issues in the poop department. You have been warned.

We had poop pants all weekend. I gave her the same explanation about not toot tooting in the pants but instead in the potty and problem solved, right? She gave me a smirky "ohhhh" and any time there is a smirk I can bet large sums of money that I will be seeing more of that behavior. Not a problem.

I figured I would get a call from school regarding her pants at some point but didn't. However, when Nan picked Miss up from aftercare a caregiver met her at the door with deer in headlights eyes and, "She had an accident today." Nan being intuitive as she is figured they did not mean blood and or broken bones accident and said, "Oh yeah?" The caregiver explained that Miss was standing in line to get water with all the other kids and they smelled her and it was obvious that she had pooped her pants. They asked her if she had (amateurs) to which she said, "No." with lots of shock and surprise why would you ask me something like that? To which they replied, "Yeah ya did."

They gave her a bag, clean clothes and wipes. She came home with the bag of course and when she pulled those pants out to clean them in the bucket ... I mean we have been dealing with behaviors for years now and we don't get shocked too much anymore but girl friend had herself a full on water diarrhea bowel movement (I told you not to read on) that had completely saturated her pants and was down her leg and she had gone about playing and waiting in the water line in this condition and then played the surprise card when they confronted her about it.

Because of the degree of yuck I just directed her right into the bathtub with the bucket of shampoo water and the scrubby brush. I get her set up and then I go and check on something in the other room so that she does not have an audience/attention, as we do NOT want to encourage this. When I popped back in this almost 7 year old was dunking the poop clothing in her bath water instead of keeping it in the bucket and she had WIPED HERSELF DOWN WITH THE POOP UNDERWEAR. Strength and wisdom strength and wisdom praying for strength and wisdom at this moment, I said, "Oh look a there it seems you are swimming in poop water, better let that down the drain." We let the bath water out and she proceeded on with finishing up the scrubbing, she did a pretty good job. Then she said, "I don't want to wash my hair." To which I replied, "Sorry kiddo but when you swim in poop water you have to scrub really well with soap all over." She was not happy.

For dinner she had all the rice she wanted and bananas and apple with the peeling (thanks Jeri), Lil Bro had the same. Now there are two things that we know motivate Miss M, one is Mom’s attention which she wants to control and have at all times and secondly food and especially treats or candy. I am interested to see if this BRAT diet encourages her to make an effort to get to the toilet or if it won’t matter to her. My guess is that she will not be interested in continuing on with this diet and not getting dessert will motivate her to figure out how she can get off this diet. If not she still needs Bananas Rice Apples Toast at the moment because the situation is dire, as in diarrhea.  :-)

Under where?

No what I really meant to say was underwear underwear why are you filled with poo?

Let me just say that Miss is now on the diarrhea diet - aka adding binder foods and we are looking for dan active in a gallon jug.  Oh. My. Word.  I will spare you the details for once and let your imagination take over but it is NOT GOOD.

Apparently legitimately having the runs is a RAD code for poop your pants all you want, I dunno?



(cartoon by sickhumor.com)

You give me fever!

The last few days have been interesting and full of fever. Yep we are full of coodies over here in Loo-Loo Land.

Miss woke up around midnight (why is always midnight or 3 in the morning that things go down?) Thursday night burning up with fever, temp running 102 plus. And because we cannot do just one thing at a time Lil Bro woke up and decided to have a temper tantrum to the tune of 'I won’t Mama now'!

We saw the pediatrician Friday who decided to see the boys also while we were there because she feels these coody filled kids are passing this stuff back and forth to each other. Sure enough tough guy Lil Bro had an ear infection. Hello could he have mentioned this to Mom? The pediatrician said, “Lil Bro which ear hurts?” And the little stinker pointed to the infected ear. Thank goodness she is cool and gets that he is just not a fussy sick kid and that it isn’t that I am a who cares kind of Mom.

Since this round of sickness started 6 weeks ago with Mr. and then proceeded on to Miss and then Lil Bro and second verse same as the first we have started it all over again she decided that it was time to bring on the big gun antibiotic and they are all going to be on it for a full 2 weeks. I gave her the face to which she explained that she knew I was not a med seeker but they needed it, for crying out loud Miss took a NAP and was NOT eating! Two things that never happen, even when she had her tonsils out at 3 she was downing Jello and Slurpies like there was no tomorrow and that was straight out of surgery!

I will say that even while sick she has been a pleasant little thing, really amazing stuff these ups and downs.

The trip to the pharmacy was a real trip. (I really think a camera crew should just follow me around, it's really pretty entertaining stuff.) The pharmacy staff knows our kids and our family well for obvious reasons. I am pretty sure we are paying at least the light bill down there and thank goodness for insurance.

The pediatrician did not question Miss reaction to the Singulair med btw, she admitted that it does happen with some individuals “especially those with Miss’ chemistry”. She is now using a nose spray to help with the on going nose problem. The pediatrician also tested her urine because of the fever and complaint about belly pain with no poop issues. It showed a small trace of white cells and this particular big gun antibiotic will wipe that out too, but this prompted pediatrician to have a discussion with Miss about proper wiping techniques. Miss was not having that conversation thank you and so she simply chooses not to participate. It is absolutely hilarious to watch my child work her magic on someone else. Where as she will feel free to give her family the Wham-O she’d prefer not to go there with others. She sat there stone faced starring at the doctor and I was pretty sure if the doctor kept talking that laser beams were going to shoot from Miss’ eyes!

Their pediatrician really is great. It is a situation where it is totally worth putting up with her no count office staff because she is so great. At any rate the Little Loo-Loos are on the road to recovery and we have pro-biotics on board to combat the effects from the antibiotics.

True we have a many a pair

of messy underwear

but that’s nothing new ‘round here

and we hope to soon be clear

of coodies and all that we fear

but until then, pass me a beer

my dear.

The Run Around

This week the Loo-Loos went to Mr. C's orthopedic appointment. Dr. Ortho was delayed in surgery for an hour. The staff thought it might be a good idea for us to go and play over with the toys, for an hour. Before the real waiting for the doctor began. I thought not, so we left and ate breakfast instead.

So we had arrived at 8:10 AM, which was 10 minutes later than our original appointment. Then we went and ate breakfast and watched the video in the van until 9:15 AM. We waited in the holding area for 30 minutes and then we were able to go and wait in the spacious 6 X 6 foot room with the twirly whirly stool that no one is supposed use but the Dr. Try telling a board 3 year old boy who loves all things dangerous and dirty not to spin on that super cool spinning stool. It goes a little something like

1. tell boy no and put boy down

2. second verse same as the first.

We moved on to making balloon glove people.

That held their attention for 2 minutes. Then they commenced beating each other over the head with the balloon glove people. Another 2 minutes of entertainment.  All total this adventure to doctorland lasted from 7:30 AM when we headed off in the van to 11 AM when we finally left the doctor's office.

Dr. Ortho wanted more x-rays of Mr. C's legs to verify a leg length discrepancy. Sure enough his right leg is a 1/4 shorter than his left and he needs a shoe life done at the shoe repair shop. Insurance won't cover that but it is only $15 allegedly so I am told.

By the time we were shuffled off to x-ray the staff had assigned a student nurse to Lil Bro to try to wrangle him in. Apparently they had observed the failed balloon glove people attempt and felt it was time for backup before we went traipsing around radio active x-ray machines that cost hundreds of thousands of dollars. It was a good plan on their part and yeah that has already been added to the list of embarrassing occurrences in my life, #472,000 I believe.

I sent the memo out to Dad already too that from now until pre-K starts he will need to attend all doctor appointments to do the 3 year old wrangling. He memo'd back that he would need to get back to me on the logistics of that request. I know 'the run around' when I hear it.

Talking about Loss

Sunday we sat the younger kids down and explained about Lil' Bob passing away. They woke up Sunday morning asking where he was. Mr. C explained that "he must be in his bed" and then he said "well he must be outside."

I explained that Lil' Bob was a really old dog and that he was sick and that Daddy took him to the vet and while he was at the vet he died. Mr. C said "you must be trying to tell me a joke right Mom?" I explained that no I was not joking about anything that we were talking about. Jokes are difficult to understand when you have Asperger's Disorder and so he pretty much puts anything that he doesn't understand in the joke category.

I explained that Lil' Bob was really peaceful and that he wasn't hurt or upset at all and that Daddy was with him and so he wasn't scared. Mr. C crawled into my lap and cried. He just buried his face in my chest and cried. I explained that our other dogs were young and healthy and they would be with us for a long time. He seemed comforted by that and went and loved on Jasmine.
Miss M seemed totally not bothered and uninterested in the discussion. She didn't ask questions or make comments she just seemed interested in other things. She understands loss too well and moved right on to the moving on phase of things.

Yesterday on one of her school papers the activity was to write about a picture of a smiling girl holding a black cat. Miss M's writing is all over the page and hard to discern sometimes but in the scribble was clearly written "Milo I love cat." We have a black cat that lives outside named Milo and the cat in the picture was a black and white cat. It was nice to see her express affection for the cat.

Last week was week of unpleasants. Nan had to have some oral surgery which was none too fun. I made her chicken soup and she kind of lived off that for the weekend. She is doing much better now btw.

Miss M raged Friday morning before school. The whole I don't want to get up I don't want to get dressed I don't want to go to school I don't want to ride with Daddy to school, stuff. The deal is Nan takes the kids to school on her way to work. Miss M has a nasty habit of treating Nan badly in the mornings. So if she treats Nan badly then she doesn't get the privilege of riding with Nan, instead Dad will take her to school on his way to work. This applies to all the kids but for the most part the other two do okay in the mornings. That wasn't always the case.

Part of the whole Bipolar thing is that mornings are often really difficult for them. She literally wakes up and goes into these rages. Or the mind set that triggers the rage. So for the second time in 2 weeks she was tardy to school because she refused to go. Her teacher is a nice lady but doesn't seem to get what we have shared. She gobs on the sugar with Miss M which leads Miss M to feel that she can charm this teacher, cause she can. And in turn we believe has triggered some of this backsliding. Some teachers who have taught for a long time, have their own children who are nearly grown and doing excellent in school and the community tend to think they know it all regarding "their" students. And a lot of the time that is probably completely true. But with Miss M this is a whole different ball game and we need this teacher to get on board.

I e-mail the teacher whenever Miss M is late because of refusal to go to school. Those e-mails are public record ya know. Mrs. Teacher e-mailed me back around noon to say "She is having a wonderful day. Have a great weekend!" I e-mailed back and explained that it would be helpful if Mrs. Teacher would speak to Miss M about getting to school on time since she had been tardy twice in the last two weeks because of her refusal to go to school. I further explained that this has been helpful in the past at communicating to Miss M that was are all on the same team and worker toward the greater good, one united front. She did e-mail back that she had spoken with Miss M.

So we shall see how this progresses. Here are some pics from the week.

Nan in recovery with nurse Chico by her side.


Mr. C and his lovey Henry the Hippo.



Lil' Bro looking cute as ever.


The "twins" with their glasses. They were playing nicely together at this moment, that's why I took the picture.



Big Sis took this picture of Miss M in a happy moment. Cute!