Ummm? Life As We Know It

Our bath time pass earning program seems to be crumbling a bit.  It has lasted longer than we ever anticipated it would but for a week now Miss has failed to earn a bath pass because she tantrums and has to start the earning all over.

Last week I received a note from teacher that Miss was "off task" several times which translates to acting up in class.  e.g. Can't keep our hands to our self, making noise outburst during class to receive attention, etc.  This week I received a note that Miss was kicking other students during recess.  She came home that evening and proceeded to tantrum about Mom checking her homework.  Let me clarify this because maybe your mind is saying that she did NOT want Mom to check the homework.  Quite the opposite with my attention seeker.  She knew it was ALL done wrong and so she would need to redo it and that would set her up to have a tantrum.  Mom didn't play along but instead took one look at the ALL wrong homework and said, "Since Mr. Behavior Guy is here tonight I think it would be awesome for you to go over this with him and if there are any changes he can help you make them."

That did not sit well with Miss.  She screamed, "NO!  YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME!!!"  I tried not to feed attention into the tantrum.  A few minutes later I suggested that if she did not like how her homework looked she might want to take a minute and make some changes before she and Mr. Behavior Guy went over it together.  She screamed, "NO!  YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME DO MY HOMEWORK RIGHT!!!" 

I explained that I needed to work on my laundry at the moment but that Mr. Behavior Guy was happy to help her.  That did not work out so well, at first.  She would not go for Mr. Behavior Guys attempts to move her away from the door to where I was doing laundry.  She was giving the door a beat down.  Interestingly the door was not locked, she could have come after me but she did not.  In the past she would have. 

He asked her to help him find the homework paper that he didn't see it etc.  She said, "OH GIVE ME A BREAK YOU KNOW WHERE IT IS!  I AM NOT COMING OVER THERE!"  Then she continued on with the door beat down.  He finally had to let her know that she needed to move to her room to calm down and that either she could go on her own or he would help her.  She would not go and so he proceeded to pick her up and take her to her room.  She would not let it go and proceeded to attack him.  He had to put her in a hold.  The Hubs was not at home and I can not handle her during a rage.

I think part of what is making Miss angry right now is that she was manipulating the teacher pretty well.  Miss had figured out that recess time on Thursday was walk and talk and that she would participate whether she did her homework or not on Wednesday night.  Every Wednesday night she would not bring some component of her homework home which meant that she could not complete her assignment.  I e-mailed the teacher that this was going on and it would seem that Mrs. Teacher got back to enforcing her own rules.  No homework, no recess time.  I am completely okay with this rule because Miss is a very active child and so she is getting all the physical activity that she needs.  On Thursdays she has cheer squad at school and then soccer practice in the evening.  Add to that non-stop motion and she is covered in the physical activity department.

Mr. is working on "Using Nice Words" to express his needs. 

Lil Bro is sick again and on antibiotics.  He has a sinus infection that has turned into a double ear infection.  It has not slowed him down in the least.  He has surgery scheduled for March 29th to have his tonsils and adenoids removed.  I am worried but know that it is necessary. 

Big Sis is holding steady as the "easy one".  Schooling at home is going well.  This week she was able to have an outing with some other friends who also school at home and they went to a veterinarian office for a tour.

I get to be the assistant soccer coach by default.  The other parents who said that they would do it puttered out.  Go me!  I have unofficially diagnosed one player as being on the autism spectrum and he and I do fine together.  And another player seems very ADHD to me.  He and I keep busy when he is on the bench by crowing like a rooster.  Whatever works!  Lil Bro is a great little player when he is paying attention, he is often distracted.  The little girl on the team is quiet and shy but she loves attention from the coach.  And then we have one natural little soccer player who had never seen a soccer ball before this season but he is doing awesome. 

I doubt that we will get suckered into coaching in the future but I must say it has all gone well thus far. 

It's Like Pulling Teeth

Or at least having a crown put on one.  This week Lil Bro had to have a crown put on a baby tooth.  I was relieved to hear that this tooth was a product of poor formation in the womb and not poor dental habits at my house.  All his other teeth were just fine.  Now he has a yucky silver tooth in the back of his mouth and I have to say how cool it is and what a great job he did.  The truth?

I hate that darn thing and I hate that when a person sees metal in a 4 year old's mouth we naturally think "poor dental care" which is a form of "poor care".  But I'll just have to get over that one.

The truth is that Lil Bro did not do well at all but if the meds they gave him did their job he has no memory of it.  The drug combo that they give him makes him "drunk".  We now know that he is a mean drunk and so we hope he never takes up that habit.  In fact he was very much like Miss Fabulous when she is not stable on her bipolar meds.  It reminded me how much of what she deals with is chemical in nature. 

Miss is doing well at school although she hates the way her new class runs.  There is a lot of independent work because the teacher is handling both 2nd and 3rd grade classes.  Miss does not like independent work but she is handling it just fine.  Her work looks better than ever.  Her teacher "loves having her in class" her behavior is classified as roll model.  She comes home and rages over homework and bathtime.

We are working with her behavior therapist in helping Miss to connect the two worlds.  If you can be a roll model at school you can certainly keep yourself from raging at home.

It is very much like the guy who is charming and well liked at the office but comes home and beats the snot out of his wife for burning the potatoes.  Not good. 

So we are working on it and yeah it's a little like pulling teeth or at least dealing with a drunk 4 year old who is having a crown put on.

Sliding Into September With A Crash (updated)

Given the goings on of the last few weeks with Miss we pretty much figured we were headed toward September Slides as usual.  September and March are not our best months, which I came to learn is not uncommon for those battling bipolar disorder.  The moods they are a swingin'.

Miss Fabulous had a yuck-o rage Saturday.  We knew she was off and we did what we could to help her through the day.  We kept her busy.  But as the afternoon arrived she wanted to go in the pool and I had to say no because the pool is yucky at the moment and we are working on it with chemicals, STRIKE ONE.  Moments later she and Big Sis headed off to play ponies.  They had all afternoon together and Mr. wanted to join the game and it was time to let him join because they had already had plenty of time with out him, STRIKE TWO.  Not long after I realized that one kid had not brushed their teeth and direct that child to brush.  Then I realized that likely no kids had brushed their teeth.  I took an accounting and sure enough everyone needed to brush, STRIKE THREE.  Miss no likey that directive!  She did not rage at this point but decided that she would not floss and use rinse as her way to control the situation.  I knew it but I wasn't going to address it I was just going to make sure that she flossed and rinsed at bedtime and if she raged then, so be it.  But you got to love siblings because they were not going to let this go and they called her out on it and instead of her giving me a moment to explain that it would be fine for her to floss and rinse next time, STRIKE FOUR and there she blows!

This time it was, "I hate you big Mommy!"  It was with such hatred that she screamed those words but I still preferred that to "You aren't my real Mom!"  I am guessing that birth mom is little Mommy?  I dunno.

Any who the whole scene was ugly and Dad did a great job handling it.  I loaded Nan and the other kids up and took them out of the house for ice cream.  The whole thing terrifies Mr. Man, in the past he was a main target for physical abuse.  Lil Bro takes it all in and then uses those learned skills when he is angry about something, that's no good.  And it is disruptive to everyone so the few times Miss has raged I have removed the others from the house.

At any rate I think September will be memorable.

P.S. I forgot to mention that after the information we have received via the psychological evaluation that was done for Miss we see the need for her to follow through.  A big part of the rage yesterday was because she did not want to include Mr. in playtime.  So after we got back home from our ice cream outing and she was all calmed down from her rage Mom announced that it was Mr. and Miss play date time.  Big Sis and Lil Bro were excused to go and watch a movie in another room and Mr. and Miss got to choose what they wanted to play together.  At first Mr. was not cooperating either because he had moved on to something else, too bad so sad.  That Mama says it is time to have fun so lets get to it.  After about 15 minutes I announced that they had done a great job with the play date and that I was really proud.  They asked to keep playing together, progress!  I reminded them that it is really special that they are the same age and that they are both second graders.  They have a lot in common and they should be really good friends.  Blank faces that seemed to be hearing wank wank wanka coming out of my mouth but at any rate it was still progress!

I had visions of being a cool parent but ...

I have resolved with in myself that is not happening.  I'm okay with it.  Really not as disappointed as I might have imagined about it.

I have determined I can't be cool and be right, I'd rather be right.  I got sucked into the "can my friend come over" thing today.  I made it clear up front that we were going to have good behavior.  That didn't happen.  Not that it was anything terrible but I have a child on the autism spectrum and he is the least of my issues in this house.  We have to have order and a reliable way that things are done - consistency is our life line here.  And I could be cool and let the friend do what she will like using every piece of expensive equipment in this house in an unsafe way and without permission, but I ain't gonna. 

Yes I sacrificed cool to be right.  I told friend to call Mama to make sure someone would be there when I brought her home.  Looks of shock and dismay.  I had no time to deal with it because I was moving Miss Fabulous into the bath just moments after she had banshee screamed in the back yard and gave consideration to taking on the above ground pool in a karate show down because someone tagged her in a game of tag.  Go figure.

At any rate I didn't have time to deal with the tweens opened mouth shock and dismay.  Friend called Mama and Mama really didn't want her to come home.  Hmmm?  Asked if Big Sis could sleep over instead.  Nope.  But here's the deal ... and I explained to friend that they did things different at her house and that was fine but that here when someone comes into the house they have to respect the way we do things because otherwise the children here with special needs start to fall apart and I am not really into that, you can understand.  I pointed out the banshee scream episode outside with Miss Fabulous and reminded her that things can get ugly quickly around here.

She got it and admitted that she had not been behaving herself.  The tweens got one more chance and they pulled it together and behaved.  Go tweens!

Tuesday Miss Fabulous went to finish her testing at the university.  That evening her Behavior Therapist comes to visit.  She hasn't raged in front of him in months.  We all kind of thought she had moved him over into a teacher status Tuesday I said, "Good to know that you are still in the family." 

Miss Fabulous raged, all of the sudden and out of the blue because she got very angry at Lil Bro when he touched one of her toys.  Dad was home and he redirected her and blocked and redirected her but her brain left the building the minute that Lil Bro touched that toy.  Dad had to hold her and keep her safe and the CBA got a lovely report out of it and told Dad what an excellent job he had done.  Go Dad!

She also has had a 'swiper no swiping' thing going on for the past few weeks at camp.  She tried to leave with someone else's DS game and today all the kids got a special something for their hula day and she decided she would take 2 of those things after it had been explained that everyone only got 1.  She hides these things in her cubby and when Nan picks her up Nan inquires as to what it's all about and then asks the staff who are quite surprised that Miss has whatever in her cubby.

It will be interesting to see how that all works it's self out.

Adrenaline slowing drugs help aggression ...

Adrenaline slowing drugs help aggression in children, say doctors.

Interesting article, thought I'd share it.

Discovery Health Psych Week, Bipolar Kids

Discovery Health Psych Week, Bipolar Kids

Points of interest, the others all look good too but these are the ones that I have seen:

Chase
Kelsey
Bipolar Mysteries-Teresa
Bipolar Mysteries-Kristen

These kids were all familiar in some way with how their illness affects them and what we deal with here.  Something that I kind of wonder about is that even though I have seen video of other kids, labeled Bipolar and also labeled RAD, rage their rage has never been anything close to what we have dealt with from the Fabulous Miss M.  I'd be interested to hear if other Mom's have noticed the same thing?  Is it simply because these are kids and so there is caution as to what is published or what their parents allow to be published or is my kid the Gold Metal Winner for rages?

Streptococcus, Fire Ants, Family Meals and Rages

Well life here was certainly interesting last week.  Big Sis has strep throat.  Friday Miss had to have some blood work done per her Psychiatrist orders. I had been putting it off since January and since she has an appointment with him in a few weeks now seemed the time to get it done. It was not good, never is. It is most definitely a trigger, trauma trigger I think, but definitely a trigger.

Nan met me with the other kids after the blood draw and we took everyone to breakfast. Our little patient got to choose the place to eat and she picked Hardee’s. After that we went to play at the park. The physical activity was doing her and everyone else good but the park was crowded and so the decision was made to move on to another park.

The Universe conspires against me and this time was no different. Mr. stepped in a fire ant mound as we approached the car. He is an allergy boy so his foot swelled to the size of a balloon. He was screaming and crying and we all hustled into the van and speed over to the Walgreen’s for Benadryl in all it’s forms. I switched vehicles with Nan and took Mr. home and she was going to stay on task and take the other 3 kids to the second park. We all communicated these facts, all the kids said, “Okay Mom.” However, Miss did not compute these facts and so when Mom left with Mr. and Nan proceeded on to the park Miss asked the question, “Is Mom and Mr. going to meet us at the park?” Nan said, “No, Mom and Mr. have to go home because of Mr.’s foot. Remember that Mom explained this to everyone and everyone said they understood?” Commence fit in the captains chair of the Mom Mobile.

Nan proceeded on toward the park and Miss knocked the fit off as they drove past the police station, sometimes it is all about location. She was trifling the rest of the day and we were all glad when her bedtime came but we survived.

Saturday Grandma and Paw Paw came to visit. Miss knew they were coming and put on her “company” demeanor. Well they weren’t coming for several hours at that point but I wasn’t going to tell her that because she has no concept of time and I was enjoying the company demeanor. I ran out to the store to pick up something to go with the dinner I had made. I was gone 20 minutes total. In that time all chaos broke loose here in Loo Loo Land.

Nan, Big Sis, and Miss were playing going fish as I left out for the store. 2 minutes later Miss become unhappy with Big Sis, words were exchanged, Nan got a phone call, Big Sis allegedly (we can neither confirm nor deny this) shot Miss a “mean look” across the table. This instantly enraged Miss who began assaulting the person closest to her, Nanny. Nan struggled to get Miss under control and sent Big Sis to fetch Dad who was in the shower. Dad had to exit the shower and dress at lightening speed so that he could get Miss into a safe situation. She bit her arm rather significantly and I chose to notify her teacher of the cause of the bruise on her arm, the one in the shape of her own teeth and mouth.
About 5 minutes into said rage our guests arrive, “Hey there, welcome do come in and make yourself at home. Or, take cover which ever would make you most comfortable.”

I returned home to a couch full of people with eyes the size of saucers and deer in headlights expressions. I don’t know why people don’t come and visit here more often? For one it’s always entertaining and for two it likely will make you feel better about your own home life.

After Miss had settled down and I had gone in to see her I told her to come and join us as soon as she was ready, no hurry and to take her time. She did not want to come out because she was embarrassed and realized that the visitors had heard her. After 15 minutes and she still had not emerged I went in to check on her and she was asleep. That’s a no can do at 3 in the afternoon so I woke her up and she was ready to come and join us. She looked down at her arm where she had bitten it and said that she wanted to put on her robe. She came out with her usual charming company demeanor but was unsure of herself, momentarily.

I am going to put a pause on my story for now and pick this back up a little later.  We have a meeting scheduled for this coming Friday with Mrs. Teacher, can't wait.  Stay tuned!

Warning - Psychotic Episode In Progress!

This post from the Porter family is spot on as Christine put over at Welcome to My Brain.

I decided to linky-dinky-do these because they were right in line with what I was preparing to gab about. 

Little Miss had herself a public rage yesterday, first time since Sept that we have had a public rage.  Which is kind of interesting timing when you consider this article from The Bipolar Child newsletter.

I use this blog to keep track of the goings on of our life and the goings on of our kids’ illnesses too so here's what I know:

Miss is attached/attaching to her family. She is most attached to Mom, no one can comfort her like Mom can. She also has an unhealthy need to be in control of Mom's attention. She is not secure that Mom will not go away, she knows Moms sometimes do go away and that her first Mom left her in a scary place and never came back.

Additionally she has learning issues and brain activity that is in harmony with FASD. Do I know for 100% sure that she had those exposures? No. Is it likely? Yes.

We know because of how she has responded positively to major psychiatric medications that her brain does not function chemically as it should. Through tracking we located very clear cycling that supports Bipolar Disorder.

We know from her behaviors that she is a child of trauma. She does not have verbal memory of the trauma because of how young she was at the time that the traumas occurred but all mental health professionals involved agree the trauma was significant.

So when I sit down and logically look at what this child has stacked against her it is amazing the progress that we have made together as a family. Some believed that she "may never" improve from her traumas and indeed she has, she has improved a lot.

Even after her public rage she now accepts that she was wrong that her behavior was unacceptable. Before she truly believed that she did what she had to and you deserved what you got. She understands that we love her even if she does rage.

So here's what happened. We were at our religious service yesterday and she did not want to be there. In the past several months she has started zoning out in the form of sleep when she wants to avoid something. Not always a bad thing for sure and much better than a rage. But this was 3:30 in the afternoon and if she sleeps then we know from experience that she will not sleep at night. We gently tried to direct her away from the sleep attempt and she was not having it. She kicked the seat in front of her and we knew right then it was go time. We tried to quietly calm her but she continued to hit Dad and we were certainly a bit of a distraction so she needed to be removed.

So we now have a almost 7 year old child hissing and spitting and kicking with high heel sandals (which did a number on Dad's leg) as Dad removes her from the building. Dad got her outside and tried to use the block and redirect technique but Miss was having none of it, she was out for blood and when she is at that point only being put in a hold will help her to regain control. One of the attendants came and got me at Dad's request and I went and stood with them and encouraged Miss to do her breathing, which she did. On lookers would peak their head around the corner to check on us and she would scream and hiss at them and they would tuck tail and run away. They got the point to stay away, we were around the side of the building where she could not see other people. She became calm with in a few minutes and I asked her if she felt in control and could Dad let go of her? With those wild animal type eyes she shook her head no she was not ready for him to let go. So he held her for another minute or so and I asked her again, she said yes. She wanted to go home and that's a tough call because in part it seems like a good idea to go home but the reality is that for a child like Miss they are always learning, we call it "changing the game". It seems to me to be a large contributor to why no specific consequence helps to change behavior in a child like this. Whatever "motivator" worked this time or seemed to probably won't work next time because they have the ability to no longer be interested in that motivator, nothing is more important than control because control means safety and so they will look to remain in control of the things that only they have control over. Also known, as I will poop my pants if I want to and you cannot control that.

With that said, if we go home this time because of a rage then we will see a public rage anytime Miss is ready to go home. Which means it is not wise to make that choice. Once she was back in control I said that I was going back inside and that she and Dad should join me as soon as they could. In part because she does not want to show this behavior to others she was embarrassed and afraid to go back inside the building. Dad was very patient and stood near by but moving toward the door back inside. 45 minutes later she and Dad returned.

I am considering making a sign in a similar fashion to a wet floor sign that says, "Child having a psychotic episode please do not disturb or offer candy." Some well meaning do gooder came around the corner with a bag of jellybeans. Really? Dad has this child in a hold to keep her and him safe and he has to say no jellybeans? Number 1 that is not appropriate even if it would have helped and number 2 those jellybeans would have become projectiles faster than the speed of light.

When it was all said and done life returned to our usual. Miss and Dad and I were able to talk about it at home. She was receptive to the talk and seemed to understand what was said. She got her shower with out any problems, ate dinner and slept well.

And The Beat Goes On

As I start this post the 3 year old is licking the sliding glass door while pushing the button on his Thomas The Tank Toy that plays that theme song over and over again. "Do-do-do-do-dadat-da" ... It seems as if I should jump into action but the dilemma is that he is keeping himself occupied and I have 2 minutes to collect my thoughts. Since I'm still typing I guess it is obvious which way I have gone with this dilemma. He's building his immune system.

Well, Miss Miss crashed and burned yesterday morning but today was better. She has entered into the I do not want to go to school phase of the school year because we are doing real work and after the whole stealing candy thing the candy bucket has left the classroom too. Miss was not actually doing the stealing of the candy but she may have been a mastermind in the situation, I can't say for sure. We will use the word alleged mastermind. Here's the explanation, "J steals candy from the candy bucket and he gives me some too." Oh, kay. So yeah we had a talk about that but not long after, a few weeks ago in fact, J got caught and Mrs. Teacher apparently did away with the candy bucket. I am really glad about it because the amount of candy Miss was coming home with was ridiculous.

I have not addressed the candy story with the teacher because Miss is precious and misunderstood you know. I'm the big bad Mom who wants to find fault where there isn't any and so anything I share falls on deaf ears. I feel confident that I have warned what to watch for and beyond that I stay out of the dealings of the classroom. We are not at a point where I can even consider home schooling Miss so ...


Yesterday morning Miss decided that she was not going to school, so she was not going to get dressed, and she felt particularly strong about these facts. Wham-O time! RAGE. There is a difference between what I describe as a tantrum and being enraged. A tantrum here is when anyone of them is melting down because they want their own darn way or they don't want to do X or whatever. Rage involves violence of some sort and loss of their mental where a bouts. It's like watching a transformation that happens very quickly. The violence is going to take on a life of it's own until/unless it is physically blocked, the person is sweating profusely, eyes glazed over and disconnected from reality and full of anger and fear, verbal garbage is spilling forth, property destruction, spitting and or other bodily fluids may be involved such as pee or vomit.

Miss was late to school and Dad had to take her. We talked about what went wrong and what she could have done different and how that would have worked out better. We all understand that she does not want to go to school; I didn't either as a kid.


Did the tantrum keep you from going to school?

No.

And today went much better so maybe she is getting the train back on the tracks. I talked at length with the CBA yesterday explaining how things had been going. We all agree that Mom and Big Sis both being sick has probably rocked her boat.

BTW thanks for all the suggestions and comments as to what might be going on with Miss. Our best guess at the moment is that Mom and Big Sis being sick has emotionally trigger fear which triggers anger. Time will tell, I guess.


I am happy to report that Mr. is doing AWESOME! He is super loving and cuddly, he even hugged the CBA last night and asked to go visit his house. He has responded well to help when things are not going right. For instance yesterday he really wanted to use Dad's laptop and the answer was no because Dad had leave to go take care of a $600 problem with my van. Mr. was very frustrated and started to get angry. A reminder about how he was working to earn his next Wii time and a suggestion on what he could do instead and he responded really well. :-0 Holy Cow!

In other news Big Sis and I are knee deep in Science Project stuff and Lil Bro has decided to piggy back on some of Miss' behaviors.  And that's news to me!

Doctor Doctor Give Me The News

(The Twins as Little Munchkins)

Following the visit with Dr. Psychiatrist Tuesday where Mr. royally showed himself Dr. Psychiatrist altered Mr.'s Meds. The med we so lovingly call "magic med" because of the wonders it does for Miss M, Dr. now has Mr. taking a whole pill instead of a half and he takes it in the am instead of at night. His first official dose was Thursday and he had a great day. No agitation or aggression at all! He was the little boy we know he can be. He is sticking to his earned Wii time schedule nicely and is not struggling when it is time to exit the Wii.

Man do we hope this sticks!

As a toddler Mr. was challenging. His hyper activity was off the charts and people literally did not want him to come to their home. He climbed everything, in fact I made it part of our daily routine to go to the park and let him climb up the climbing rock over and over and then at home was absolute regarding no climbing the furniture, walls, counter tops, etc.

He was delayed socially and by age 3 still had no self care ability at all. He could not be still long enough to eat. We had him tested with the early intervention program and he bombed that a big one. He freaked out, melted down and literally attacked the door in an effort to exit the testing area. They all did that look at each other like oh he is so messed up. But it was his window into the program with the best teacher on the planet (my opinion).

She was great with Mr. and taught me so many things. By age 4 and 5 he was making great progress. This was the time in life where Miss M was unraveling in a major way.


And then he turned 6 and things started to get very difficult with Mr. We got the CBA involved and then we got Dr. Psychiatrist on board. We have had periods as long as 6 weeks where Mr. seems to do well and then WHAM-O right back down the tubs again.

Although their aggression can look freakishly similar what is behind it is very different for both Miss M and Mr. He is a child on the Autism Spectrum who also deals with ADHD but he is very attached to his family and in particular the Mama. It comes down to his brain chemicals being out of whack.

Miss M is (as we all know here) a child healing from RAD who also has Bipolar Disorder. She is this complicated mix of defiance based in lack of trust and fear of abandonment and whacked out brain chemicals from Bipolar Disorder. She struggles with cycles of sleep difficulty, difficulty regulating her own temperature (she is either freezing or burning up), cycles of increased appetite, cycles of extreme aggression, cycles of extreme happy hyper behavior where just looking at her sends her into hysterics that mimic a drunk person.  This is all better regulated now with the assistance of medication.

At their worst either one of them will take you down to Chinatown on the hurt you express but what's fueling the engine is very different. And it certainly makes parenting ... interesting. What motivates and helps one is of no interest to the other. One is an attention seeker who is just as easily fueled by negative attention the other simply wants their own way.

Our 3 year old Lil Bro responds very well to "warning" and that whatever behavior is going on is not okay. The next move is the time out spot for 3 minutes. Because he does not care to go to the time out spot for 3 minutes he can put 2 and 2 together and when he hears "warning" his brain goes yeah the next step is going to be going and sitting over there for 3 minutes and I'd rather not. So 7 or 8 times out of 10 he will stop the behavior, the other times I get to demonstrate my ability to replace him on the spot 15 times before he actually sits. But he does sit, he has the self control to be capable to sit.  Neither Miss M nor Mr. has the ability to sit on said spot.

Mr. seems to have the control to follow the things that are in place to help prevent him from getting extremely frustrated in the first place or he goes from 0 to 60 in a nanosecond and there is a greatly diminished ability on his part to remain in control.

Interesting too that Miss M is a biter and always has been. I was once on the phone with the Psychiatrist and she was raging and biting me in the same manor an attacking chihuahua would. Mr. has always been a scratcher. He used to attack kids and teachers in his pre-school class with the scratching. They were always asking me to cut his nails shorter but they were as short as they would go.

Both will hit with aggression but Miss M is a open hand pimp slap hitter and Mr. is a fist hitter. Both are incredibly strong when they are aggressive, like pick up furniture and throw it at you strong.

So on any given day it can be a 3 ring circus here in loo loo land and it is never boring.  But ... we hope that we are on the way to brain chemicals being in order and aggression being a thing of the past.

Wrangle Um In

So we have been on a good run here lately with Miss M, lots of good healing to report.  But she is also a person that deals with Bipolar and the nature of the illness is such that stability does not last indefinitely even on the right meds. 

She had done well through out the day with lots of good effort on her part but her mind seemed distracted a lot.  She struggled with her facial expressions and seemed aware of it and seemed to be making an effort to work through it, impressive for a 6 year old. 

As her attachment has deepened she seeks approval from her family.  But the course of the day was such that all 3 of the oldest kids had their various struggles and the demand for attention inevitably collided.  Last night at bedtime Miss M asked for help getting her PJ's on.  I said for her to get started and I would come and help her.  Another child came to me at that time with a scratch that needed ointment, which I could not find anywhere in the darn house.  Why do people refuse to use my categories and put things back where they belong? 

In the midst of me helping child #2 Miss M asked Nan to help her dress, Nan did.  Then Nan gave the directive to brush teeth, Nan went to help.  At the same time Nan removed the headband off of Miss M's head and viola - unprovoked RAGE.  Her brain left the building in a nanosecond, Dad had to put her in a hold (first time in 4 months), and I still could not find the darn ointment for child #2.

Dad only had to hold her for 3 to 4 minutes and the entire episode only lasted for 15 minutes.  Her brain began to return to her and she used the calming techniques she has learned.  I went in and we talked about how that could have gone differently.  She did not want to brush her hair (no one was planning to brush her hair) and we discussed how she could have used her words to explain that she did not want to brush hair or that she wanted to wait for Mom or whatever was bothering her.  We talked about what she choose to do, get angry.  I asked her how that worked out for her and she said, "Not to good."  What could you have done, "Tell the grown up."  Good one. 

In reality her brain is just not working well at the moment.  As I have said before the Chihuahua Chico is our own personal service dog and has unsolicited training as a seizure dog apparently and when Miss M's brain chemicals are off he will not go near her, he will not let her pet him, he will not come when she calls him, etc.  Guess who is avoiding Miss M like the plague this Sunday?

Not to worry she will get the train back on the track shortly I am sure.

Mr. is making improvements.  His CBA and I had a long talk Tuesday about where adjustments could be made.  We all recognize that Mr.'s brain is not on track at the moment either, but it is getting better.  Since Mr. is VERY time orientated we decided to make his earned Wii time on more of a set time schedule instead every ___ hours.  There are set times for the school week and set times for weekend days or time off from school.  Mr. is getting right with that program. 

He has become very combative as he has become a little older, both verbally and physically.  Our first plan of action is to extinguish the aggression.  So he does not fail to earn his next Wii time as long as he does not use hands for hurting.  If he uses hands (or body) for hurting or destroys property the next Wii time is not earned.

We are making progress.  He did give Mr. CBA the wango-tango Tuesday night.  Mr. CBA had to get Mom to come in, he has NEVER done that before.  It isn't that Mr. CBA can't handle Mr. on his own but he is seeking the most effective way to help him and at that moment it was Mama.

Mr. does not like conversations that he does not start or that are not of interest to him.  His little friend at school might start a conversation about Mario Brothers and that will be fine and great because that interests him.  But overall if he didn't start the conversation he is not interested in it.  So Mr. CBA's teaching talks about when we can't get our own way and not using aggression are really not of interest to Mr.  He feels like he has had the talk, he knows the dialog, time to move on.  Wrong.

The kids are off from school tomorrow so send up an extra prayer for the Loo Loo Crew!

Talking about Loss

Sunday we sat the younger kids down and explained about Lil' Bob passing away. They woke up Sunday morning asking where he was. Mr. C explained that "he must be in his bed" and then he said "well he must be outside."

I explained that Lil' Bob was a really old dog and that he was sick and that Daddy took him to the vet and while he was at the vet he died. Mr. C said "you must be trying to tell me a joke right Mom?" I explained that no I was not joking about anything that we were talking about. Jokes are difficult to understand when you have Asperger's Disorder and so he pretty much puts anything that he doesn't understand in the joke category.

I explained that Lil' Bob was really peaceful and that he wasn't hurt or upset at all and that Daddy was with him and so he wasn't scared. Mr. C crawled into my lap and cried. He just buried his face in my chest and cried. I explained that our other dogs were young and healthy and they would be with us for a long time. He seemed comforted by that and went and loved on Jasmine.
Miss M seemed totally not bothered and uninterested in the discussion. She didn't ask questions or make comments she just seemed interested in other things. She understands loss too well and moved right on to the moving on phase of things.

Yesterday on one of her school papers the activity was to write about a picture of a smiling girl holding a black cat. Miss M's writing is all over the page and hard to discern sometimes but in the scribble was clearly written "Milo I love cat." We have a black cat that lives outside named Milo and the cat in the picture was a black and white cat. It was nice to see her express affection for the cat.

Last week was week of unpleasants. Nan had to have some oral surgery which was none too fun. I made her chicken soup and she kind of lived off that for the weekend. She is doing much better now btw.

Miss M raged Friday morning before school. The whole I don't want to get up I don't want to get dressed I don't want to go to school I don't want to ride with Daddy to school, stuff. The deal is Nan takes the kids to school on her way to work. Miss M has a nasty habit of treating Nan badly in the mornings. So if she treats Nan badly then she doesn't get the privilege of riding with Nan, instead Dad will take her to school on his way to work. This applies to all the kids but for the most part the other two do okay in the mornings. That wasn't always the case.

Part of the whole Bipolar thing is that mornings are often really difficult for them. She literally wakes up and goes into these rages. Or the mind set that triggers the rage. So for the second time in 2 weeks she was tardy to school because she refused to go. Her teacher is a nice lady but doesn't seem to get what we have shared. She gobs on the sugar with Miss M which leads Miss M to feel that she can charm this teacher, cause she can. And in turn we believe has triggered some of this backsliding. Some teachers who have taught for a long time, have their own children who are nearly grown and doing excellent in school and the community tend to think they know it all regarding "their" students. And a lot of the time that is probably completely true. But with Miss M this is a whole different ball game and we need this teacher to get on board.

I e-mail the teacher whenever Miss M is late because of refusal to go to school. Those e-mails are public record ya know. Mrs. Teacher e-mailed me back around noon to say "She is having a wonderful day. Have a great weekend!" I e-mailed back and explained that it would be helpful if Mrs. Teacher would speak to Miss M about getting to school on time since she had been tardy twice in the last two weeks because of her refusal to go to school. I further explained that this has been helpful in the past at communicating to Miss M that was are all on the same team and worker toward the greater good, one united front. She did e-mail back that she had spoken with Miss M.

So we shall see how this progresses. Here are some pics from the week.

Nan in recovery with nurse Chico by her side.


Mr. C and his lovey Henry the Hippo.



Lil' Bro looking cute as ever.


The "twins" with their glasses. They were playing nicely together at this moment, that's why I took the picture.



Big Sis took this picture of Miss M in a happy moment. Cute!

Rages, Bullying, and Backslides

http://www.bipolarchild.com/Newsletters/0506.html

I had been waiting a few days to post this because I wanted to enjoy the beauty of the photo montage that our family made for Miss M. Thank you for the lovely comment that you left Jeri. Those sad eyes definately tell a story.

I have posted the link to one of the Bipolar Child Newsletters that deals with the seasonal aspect of the disorder. September has always been a difficult time for Miss M even before we knew what we were dealing with. Last September her violence was so high that her Psychiatrist called every facility in the state trying to locate an option for treatment.

Miss M raged 3 times last week - Thursday morning, Friday night and Sunday evening. The one Sunday took place in the Wal-Mart and continued out into the Wal-Mart parking lot. Big Sis was hysterical when she called for back up (as Dad had directed). When I arrived there is my 6 year old raging away in the parking lot with on lookers. One guy, bless his idiot heart, tried to give us water to give to her. If you want that bottle to become a projectile then sure give it here. One guy did the drive by, "Is everything okay here?" As if Miss M was in danger. Yeah everything is peachy keen, can't ya tell? The police were at the neighboring Hess station making an arrest. Have no idea what that was about, some lady in a truck. I contemplated going over and explaining to them the situation before someone else sent them over.

She finally got into her seat in the van when she saw the police car coming. She has a fear of the police and their dogs. We aren't sure the reason why. She has never had negative police interaction while she has been with us but perhaps she remembers something from before. She did say while she was raging "I don't want no mean dog!" We had no idea what that meant. When I asked her about it the next day she didn't remember and then when I described what was going on she said, "Oh, I didn't want their police dog to come." Good enough, we actually got an answer and it made sense.

So we already knew that Miss M was not at her best. Yesterday at pick up from the after care program at school the director called us over. Miss M has been bullying other children. One girl finally told when they questioned her about what had been going on between her and Miss M. She reported (reluctantly) that Miss M orders her to do this or that and if she doesn't then Miss M goes to the teachers/caregivers and says the child did something to her like step on her fingers or push her or something. So the other child wrongfully gets in trouble. This is some of the behavior that has gone on at home after school.

Also the hoarding/taking things that aren't hers has returned. She was hoarding some things in her desk at school, backpack, bedroom, etc. She took her sisters radio at some point and then when her sister questioned why it was in her room she informed her that since it was in her room now that it was her radio. There were a few other things along this line as well.

So we had a talk with her yesterday and that went well. She was honest about things.

There was a lullaby playing in her brother's room down the hall and she looked upset and asked us to turn it down so that she could not hear it. The lullaby talks about how much the parents love their little one and that they are always there to protect and love you, etc. We have played it for her at bedtime too. We asked her why it bothered her and she said it makes me scared. I asked her did it scare her that Mommy and Daddy love her always. She said yes and in the conversation admitted that she is afraid we will go away. Three steps forward, two steps back seems to be this healing dance.

I am going to get in touch with our therapist who specializes in attachment and see about an appointment for a chit-chat. It seems that because Miss M struggles to get the whole picture regarding any situation that she also struggles to put all the pieces together (so to speak) regarding the healing process. She seems to understand one point and then another point but not how the points connect for the whole picture.

What we know is that she is attached to us, she does love us, and she still has very deep emotional wounds that we are trying to help her heal. Add to that a chemical imbalance and a pinch of abandonment issues and ta-dah...

some days we're bearly hanging on.

Teacher Talk and Morning Rage

We had the "talk" with Miss M's teacher Tuesday. We were there for an hour. It went well. We talked about the academics first. She has some of the same concerns regarding reading skills but is still on the fence so time will tell on that.


I asked her what the school had told her regarding Miss M's mental health diagnosis. Her mouth dropped open and she said "nothing", which means she did not read the file. The stuff that is in there will follow Miss M from now till the end of time, you know "your permanent file". I remember that scare tactic when I was a kid. "This is going on your permanent record." Not mine, other students but still I heard it.


But I am veering off course here. Watch the road Mom! So we told her of the diagnoses and how they can affect Miss M in the classroom and etc. She said, "I would have never known. She is the sweetest little girl who does anything I tell her to do." Yeah we have never heard that. Sometimes I just have to bite my cheek so this stuff doesn't spill out of my mouth.


I said, "She is a sweet little girl who also has some really serious mental health issues." It is kind of sad I guess but once someone experiences Miss M's rage they don't refer to her as sweet anymore. That is scary anger coming at you when that child rages.


Last night at our congregation I had a part in the back "Jesus can protect us." Miss M had fallen asleep in her seat and so we thought it best to leave her asleep because when you wake her it usually isn't pleasant. I had a friend who was sitting behind us watch her and another friend who was sitting at the end of our row was also watching her. Miss M woke up. She was visibly disoriented and so they tried to help her. Not going to happen. She just sat there with big freaked out eyes. As soon as I returned to my seat a few minutes later the hysterical water works started. She was so loud I had to take her outside. I reminded her that "Mommy is never going to leave her" and "That Sister Slater was watching you the whole time and AJ's Mom too." She nodded yes and regrouped but I felt so bad that it happened. I know how scary those moments are for her.


I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place because if I had woke her that likely would have gone bad. I chanced that our best option was for her to remain asleep where she was, which didn't happen. Oh well life rolls on.


In fact this morning we had a rock n roll moment when Miss M decided to rage.


I haven't checked the calendar but it is probably that time. She has been dealing with small mood swings which she recovers from rather quickly. Yesterday she was really nasty to Nan in the morning and the deal is that if a kid mistreats Nan in the morning then they don't get the privilege of riding to school with Nan, Dad will take them in his van. It had been a while since this has happened and Miss M got it together once Dad made his presences known and reminded her that he could take her to school. Nan spoke to her again on the way to school and so it was pretty much a done deal that Miss M would need to test that this morning.



Sure enough. She was not very physically abusive, mostly verbally abusive. She did hit Dad a few times but he was able to block and redirect her. She was a little late to school and I e-mailed her teacher to explain that Miss M had raged this morning but seemed to be doing better now. When Dad dropped her off Mrs. Teacher said, "I got your e-mail, thanks." So that was a positive in that it confirmed for Miss M that we did let teacher know. There is no hiding what happens at home, everyone has to be on the same page. I hope that Mrs. Teacher won't feel the need to coddle Miss M, we will wait to see on that.

Storms Comin'

Friday night sleep over night in Miss M's room. Big Sis and some real dogs were invited. This was a big step forward to feel that Miss M could handle this treat. The girls had worked toward it and planned it for most of the week.

Miss M had a hard time going to sleep. She was so excited at the whole arrangement. It was 10 pm before she finally went to sleep. Her normal bedtime is 7:30 and sleep by 8 pm. Regulated sleep is a BIG deal for kids with her issues.

The next morning.

Ain't this a pretty picture? Don't you think, "All's well there." THINK AGAIN BUDDY!

Moments pre-RAGE.

In looking at our calendar we realized it had been exactly 3 weeks since the previous rage so things were right on time, I guess. It was a pretty yucky one. Dad was able to help her stay safe. She pretty much struggled emotionally the remainder of the day and in fact had been struggling emotionally prior to the rage. She was "off" from the get go.


These pics were from the afternoon.

We kept her close with adults and we all stayed busy.

The sky can look so blue and beautiful.

And then dark clouds are rolling in just on the other side of the fence.

That's kind of what life is like for someone and their family dealing with mental illness.

Miss M's attachment to Big Sis continues to deepen and grow stronger, which is so wonderful to see. Not only because of that wonderful sister bond that we wanted for them but because Miss M can truly love someone and value them.

Cause the love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away.

Down One

Well we are down one kid for the weekend. Miss M requested a visit to Grandma's house and so we dropped her off yesterday afternoon. Some pretty neat signs of healing from Miss M have been showing up lately. I don't think I mentioned this but during her last rage (last Saturday) she stopped herself from screaming "I hate you" at her father. She kind of stammered around and said something like "I am not happy with you!"

Yesterday on the way to Grandma she was getting sleepy. I saw her lay her head back to go to sleep and then she sat up and touched Evan's seat belt strap which was in front of her. She seemed to be checking that it was safe. She laid her head down and went to sleep. When I dropped her off she was happy to see Grandma but turned to me and said "When are you picking me up?" I said "Sunday." She smiled and said "okay." She seemed very secure in the whole thing. Of course with a child with her issues it is this delicate dance and so she WILL need to test our love and the security of her situation again. Probably when she gets back home and school starts next week and she realizes camp is over for now. ABANDONMENT issues will no doubt rear their ugly head but for now, good stuff!

Yesterday with the other 3 was less than desirable. I did a little shopping for some back to school clothes. Evan was being 3 and did not want to sit in the stroller. He is pulling against the straps saying "Let me out this thing!" I gave him a toy, gum, keys, you name it. Those things worked for a moment and then he was back at it. We were by the dressing rooms because Mr. C and Viv were trying on their clothes to make sure that they fit. The next thing I knew a rude sails woman is knocking on Viv's dressing room door. I said "Yes." She said "I am waiting for the parent." "I am the parent, my daughter is dressing. What do you need?" The sales woman said "Well who's screaming?" I pointed at Evan right next to me and said "Him, he's 3." She said "Well people are complaining." You know how God had an angel shut the mouth of the lions so that they did not eat Daniel when he was thrown into the pit? I am here to report that those angels are still doing good work because they held my mouth shut long enough for the sales woman to get out of my view.

Well apparently that was like pushing the GO button for my kids because they just kept getting worse from that point on. Whatever help Mr. C's new med may have provided earlier had clearly worn off by this point. His OCD, Anxiety, Asperger's Disorder, ADHD struggles went into overload. I had a cart full of stuff and I didn't know whether to abandon ship or call in back up. Thankfully Dad was close by and was able to come and help - aka get the boys out of the store.

Ya Wanna Piece of Me?

Ya wanna piece of me? No really he was say

-ing "take a picture of my arm." Why? I don't

ask, I just do.

So we moved this furniture which I bought off

craigs list. It is awesome!

One of our movers got into some trouble in the

back seat. What is on his face? Printer toner.

One of our movers was sleeping on the job. This

definitely calls for a formal write up.

The weekend has gone pretty well. Saturday Miss M raged BUT it was only 15 minutes in duration. She came back to reality quickly and life moved on as normal. She made efforts through out the day and we worked with her by having something always "coming next" to focus on. Frequent earning of rewards too such as a slurpee on the way to the dump and a stop by the park for 15 minutes when our running around was done.

Everyone handled the change of new furniture coming in and the old furniture going out. We made sure they helped move "their" new furniture in and talked about how they would need to clean their couch with a leather conditioner. It helped them take owner ship of the new furniture.

Sunday is a new day...

Camp Mom - Week 8

This week at Camp Mom we were with out Big Sis Viv who is having a stay at Grandma's house (1 and 1/2 hours away). Not too far but far enough to get some one on one time with no younger sibs. She is having a blast and has been enjoying movie marathons with Grandma. Apparently they have gone to every library in the area and cleaned them out of VHS tapes and DVD's.

We did some shopping,

had some library action,

we even took it easy, some.


Also ... Mr. Carter started a new med which is a NO GO I repeat WE ARE NO GO for launch! The med has a calming affect on his hyper activity and thoughts. He has a hard time turning his brain off and it affects his ability to sleep. However, it makes him mean and very aggressive. He will obsessively start harping on something that is not a certain little brown eyed princesses best skill (aka I choose not to wipe my rear thank you) and WILL NOT let it go. Said princess is at the tail end of her down cycle and so this would not be the best time for another child to be having issues with mean spirited behavior. We did avoid a knock out drag down fight between the two but Mr. Carter moved to demanding a banana. I made sure that everyone had plenty to eat at dinner and a really nice treat after bath time. We brushed teeth and used florid rinse and there will be NO eating after. Why?

Also ... in the weeks events Mr. Carter had a cavity filled! I am needless to say in a panick because my child has a cavity. I do not have a cavity to date. Big Sis has no cavities and Dad and Nan are doing well in that area too. So ...

I decided that there would be no more "one more apple" please at bedtime. Sippy cups of water all around but no mas food.

And so ... Mr. Carter and his EXTREME aggression while taking new med flipped out. When persistent machine gun style verbal demands did not bring said banana forth he lost it and went postal on his Dad and myself. I must state that he was not truly hungry. No one goes to bed hungry at our house. This is a long standing habit that I have not been as firm on as I needed to because frankly we had bigger fish to fry in the issue department. But since we have a cavity in a baby tooth and permanent teeth coming in all the time ... Mom had to get tough.

Speaking of teeth and them falling out. Dad bought the kids a skate board from the new Target that opened up. All the kids had great fun taking a turn. Lil Bro was most skilled at it. Mr. Carter? Not so much. He managed to bust his chin on something which knocked his two bottom teeth into his two top teeth. One top tooth just recently came out and the new tooth is just starting to show. The gum over that tooth was mangled and bruised. The other tooth, the baby tooth on top was still there. Not any more. That tooth got knocked almost all the way out. Blood everywhere! The tooth was hanging but still attached. I had him (screaming, freaking out 6 year old) swish ice water to stop the bleeding. That helped. Sunday morning, the following day, he pulled the tooth out himself. The blood was everywhere again. Yuck!

My G I weekend

Well Thursday I went in for an upper GI Endoscope procedure. I have had dsyphasia or swallowing difficulty for a while and it was time to get it checked out. Other test had not revealed the problem. My doctor dilated or stretched my esophagus as well as busted a ring of tissue that was present call a esophageal ring. Doesn't that sound like fun? It wasn't.

I had an abnormal bout of pain following the procedure and so they sent me to the hospital for test to see if they had punctured my esophagus. They had not. So they sent me home with Tylenol. Does that work for anyone? Not me.

I called saying the pain was not better. Then I called to say the pain was getting worse. The doctor sent me to the hospital ER at that point. They gave me morphine via an I V (no swallowing). Thank you much. The doctor decided to admit me to observe me and manage my pain with the I V meds. I was all for that! I was able to go home Friday at dinner time.

I also developed a migraine type head ache from my fibro myalgia because of the bed I was in. That was lovely.

So as you can imagine my absence did not go over well here with the children. Lots of acting out. By Saturday Miss M decided to mega rage. 2 back to back in fact. My 10 year old looked at me and said, "well welcome home Mom." Out of the mouth of babes.

Little Bro was non to happy with Mom's unexpected disappearance. He pretty much gave Dad and Nan a fit. When Mom came home he had lots of hugs and kisses and announced "happy"! Now that was priceless.

Mr. Carter has been more articulate with his disapproval, "I have not seen you in 2 days."

Big Sis hit her head at the park Friday and had a tearful meltdown and needed to see Mom just for a minute at the hospital. That recharged her and she did okay.

All and all it was an eventful weekend and not one I care to repeat.

Tuesday 10-28-08

Well ... Monday afternoon was interesting. Little Miss M hit the 4 o'clock "fruit cake" hour. It's like someone hits a button and turns the happy hyper on. Which frankly we don't mind but it is what comes next that is a problem. Happy Hyper always ends in big yucky rage.

I turned the video camera on to see how the afternoon went since M was hyper but not raging. It should be good footage to share with behavior analyst and whoever else thinks they can help this group. She was playing aggressively but with in limits and then all the sudden wham-O she started hitting siblings and trying to bite. When she could not reach them she started biting herself. I got the sibs out of the pool and into the house and told them to lock the door. M came out of the pool raging and out of control.

I got a towel for her and she wanted to beat with that so that was no good. But she finally took it herself. In the middle of her screaming and attempting to hit me I said "do you want to go on the trampoline with Mom?" She said, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, well all white." And just that quick the switch flipped. We got on the trampoline, the jumping motion is supposed to help encourage the brain out of the fight/flight mode. Swinging works also so we moved on to that next. We spent about 10 minutes with this and then she came inside and helped me make dinner. See, loo loo land.

Tuesday - The morning was a struggle but everyone held it together and got to school on time. C received an award for being the only Kindergartner who can say and write his numbers 1 - 100. He seemed confused as to why one would get an award for this but we were proud! M who is also in Kindergarten saw me and I went over and gave a quick huge and kiss and took her picture too. She did not get an award this time. Not happy about it either as you may well have imagined at this point.

When I picked them up from school we did not even make it out of the parking lot before M lost it big time. I had to send V for help and she did great. She went and got M's teacher. Miss Keeney came to help and sadly was attacked. M took her shoe off first thing and through it in Miss Keeney's face. Miss Keeney had to help Mom keep M safe by holding on to her so M did not run in the road. People walking by as if they have never seen a Kindergartner taking out 2 adults in the school parking lot. Imagine that?

Well we made it through that and finally calmed to the point of taking a walk, which helped. We had a 4 o'clock appointment with the private portion of Department of Children and Families. This is the part where you volunteer for help. Well M did not make it through that meeting with out a blow out. Our social worker Peter now has a clear picture of what help we and M need. He tried to help and so she hit and spit on him. Dad was holding on to her with a safe hug so she could not hit Mr. Peter and M proceeded to Pee on the floor and announce "I'm not cleaning that up!"

We were able to finish the meeting and once we got in the car M fell asleep. When we got home I cleaned her up and feed her dinner in bed. She was so exhausted.

The other kids ate dinner and did homework. V got a lousy report card. So disappointing. The situation here is really affecting her and it is showing in school performance. She isn't turning in assignments and her grades reflect it. So we will be having a meeting with the teacher.

C on the other had has mastered everything that he will be doing for the rest of the year in Kindergarten. He is getting board and asking for "some spelling work." This is only the first grading period so I don't know what they are going to do for him. Although smart wise he can easily do 1st grade work I don't think he can handle it socially and the change of moving him up would be traumatic.

M did well on her report card. She is right on track at the start of the year so we hope she can continue to build on that. It was noted that her excessive tardiness interferes with her morning work. But ... we can't hog tie her and toss her in the car so she gets there when we can get her to go. These things are all documented by her Psychiatrist. As C says "what a darn shame about that."