Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Pictures of the Crew
Life over the last week has been pretty good. We enjoyed a visitor from up North, visted with family from up North who were vacationing in Orlando FL, and our first Soccer games (as in 2) went well!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Life as we know it ...
I have not felt like blogging lately. My thoughts have been scattered and my mood has been low. I just had that “as good as it gets” pity party going on.
Things have not been in crisis mode, which I should be thankful for. My daughter continues to be stable and my daughter continues to be a pain to live with. Some how crisis mode allows me to feel more positive than everyday pain in the butt mode does. And then I feel ungrateful.
The month of February was filled with I don’t want to take a bath and I hate homework rages. We handled the rages, everyone stayed safe. Then the behavior therapist suggested a bath pass earning program. I turned away as my eyes rolled up in my head because seriously I was not feeling the bath pass thing. We have be done so many things to accommodate a child who struggles with behavior problems at home but not at school that I literally felt done accommodating. I wanted to dig my heals in and say no more! When you are dirty you get a bath period because you are seven and that is the Mommy’s call to make. I tried to put on a good face but I was resentful that yet again we have to figure out some way to get this child to do what everyone else here is doing with out accommodations, including a child with Asperger’s and a four year old.
But … I sucked it up and went with the suggestion and it is working. Everyday that Miss has no bath tantrum or homework tantrum she earns a check on the board. Three checks in a row and she earns a bath pass card which she can use when she chooses. She cannot use the pass if she has poop in her pants. If she has earned one or two checks and has a tantrum then we start all over again, it must be 3 checks in a row. When she uses the pass we right pass on the board but it does not count as a check. In three weeks she has only had one tantrum regarding homework or bath. I should be thrilled and I do act thrilled to her but inside I am resentful. I am resentful that it takes this kind of effort to get such simple things accomplished. I should not be I know and I’m working on it.
Right now we are working through “due process” with the school to try to get our son’s IEP labeled correctly. Right now it is a language based IEP. His “language exceptionality” is based in his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis of Asperger’s. We have brought this up for years and been brushed off. So we are now working with an educational advocate and hope to make progress, time will tell.
Mr. had a surgical procedure, nothing major, but his recovery took longer than expected. He missed a good bit of school because of it and he discovered upon his return to school he could say that his surgery site bothered him and that he would go to the clinic and Mom would come pick him up. So we had to address that issue.
His anxiety at school has been increasing and he wants to be at home with Mom. I am flattered and happy that he is most comfortable at home but he still has to go to school.
It’s Soccer time and Lil Bro and Miss Fabulous are both playing soccer now. The Hubs was recruited to coach Lil Bro’s team. There are 6 four and five year olds on the team, two of which are prone to crying when they don’t score a goal. They are cute as can be and the Hubs is doing a great job with them.
Miss started out strong and confident at her first practice. Second practice the coach tried to give her instruction as to how to kick the ball correctly and that was not a big hit with her. She went into passive aggressive mode where she missed every ball that came her way and only gave the appearance of participating but really was just kind of bopping around in the general area. I asked her what she thought of coach and she said that she could not understand him when he spoke. I told her to just do what he was showing her to do and she didn’t need to worry about understanding his words. As we know she is a very visual person and the coach was giving very good instruction visually, despite his accent.
So we hope that she will continue to be willing to show up to practice with out a bunch of boo-who. The evaluator who worked with her last spring recommended soccer to help Miss be a part of a team where the attention is not focused on any one person and you win by supporting the team.
Things have not been in crisis mode, which I should be thankful for. My daughter continues to be stable and my daughter continues to be a pain to live with. Some how crisis mode allows me to feel more positive than everyday pain in the butt mode does. And then I feel ungrateful.
The month of February was filled with I don’t want to take a bath and I hate homework rages. We handled the rages, everyone stayed safe. Then the behavior therapist suggested a bath pass earning program. I turned away as my eyes rolled up in my head because seriously I was not feeling the bath pass thing. We have be done so many things to accommodate a child who struggles with behavior problems at home but not at school that I literally felt done accommodating. I wanted to dig my heals in and say no more! When you are dirty you get a bath period because you are seven and that is the Mommy’s call to make. I tried to put on a good face but I was resentful that yet again we have to figure out some way to get this child to do what everyone else here is doing with out accommodations, including a child with Asperger’s and a four year old.
But … I sucked it up and went with the suggestion and it is working. Everyday that Miss has no bath tantrum or homework tantrum she earns a check on the board. Three checks in a row and she earns a bath pass card which she can use when she chooses. She cannot use the pass if she has poop in her pants. If she has earned one or two checks and has a tantrum then we start all over again, it must be 3 checks in a row. When she uses the pass we right pass on the board but it does not count as a check. In three weeks she has only had one tantrum regarding homework or bath. I should be thrilled and I do act thrilled to her but inside I am resentful. I am resentful that it takes this kind of effort to get such simple things accomplished. I should not be I know and I’m working on it.
Right now we are working through “due process” with the school to try to get our son’s IEP labeled correctly. Right now it is a language based IEP. His “language exceptionality” is based in his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis of Asperger’s. We have brought this up for years and been brushed off. So we are now working with an educational advocate and hope to make progress, time will tell.
Mr. had a surgical procedure, nothing major, but his recovery took longer than expected. He missed a good bit of school because of it and he discovered upon his return to school he could say that his surgery site bothered him and that he would go to the clinic and Mom would come pick him up. So we had to address that issue.
His anxiety at school has been increasing and he wants to be at home with Mom. I am flattered and happy that he is most comfortable at home but he still has to go to school.
It’s Soccer time and Lil Bro and Miss Fabulous are both playing soccer now. The Hubs was recruited to coach Lil Bro’s team. There are 6 four and five year olds on the team, two of which are prone to crying when they don’t score a goal. They are cute as can be and the Hubs is doing a great job with them.
Miss started out strong and confident at her first practice. Second practice the coach tried to give her instruction as to how to kick the ball correctly and that was not a big hit with her. She went into passive aggressive mode where she missed every ball that came her way and only gave the appearance of participating but really was just kind of bopping around in the general area. I asked her what she thought of coach and she said that she could not understand him when he spoke. I told her to just do what he was showing her to do and she didn’t need to worry about understanding his words. As we know she is a very visual person and the coach was giving very good instruction visually, despite his accent.
So we hope that she will continue to be willing to show up to practice with out a bunch of boo-who. The evaluator who worked with her last spring recommended soccer to help Miss be a part of a team where the attention is not focused on any one person and you win by supporting the team.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Sometimes and Mostly
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Albert Einstein
I hear ya Albert, we have had some of that ourselves around these here parts. For instance certain ones don't like getting a bath, they have a tantrum regarding said bath, they therefore fail to earn dessert and they still have to take the bath independently. They understand these facts completely but yet they continue to carry on in the same way repeatedly with the belief that things will be different this time.
All in all we are stable.
And now I share some hope inspiring thoughts for the day...
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, Just in case you have to eat them.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world ... But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
I hear ya Albert, we have had some of that ourselves around these here parts. For instance certain ones don't like getting a bath, they have a tantrum regarding said bath, they therefore fail to earn dessert and they still have to take the bath independently. They understand these facts completely but yet they continue to carry on in the same way repeatedly with the belief that things will be different this time.
All in all we are stable.
- Tantrums have been just that and not spiraled into rage outburst.
- Homework is a hassle but that's life.
- Sometimes we choose to do our best on school work and sometimes we don't. Sometimes is better than never.
- More often than not we make good choices.
And now I share some hope inspiring thoughts for the day...
* Accept that some days you're the pigeon, And some days you're the statue.
* Always keep your words soft and sweet, Just in case you have to eat them.
* If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.
* If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, It was probably worth it.
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.
* Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, Because then you won't have a leg to stand on.
* Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.
* The second mouse gets the cheese.
* When everything's coming your way, You're in the wrong lane.
* Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.
* You may be only one person in the world ... But you may also be the world to one person.
* Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
* We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull.
Some have weird names, and all are different colours, but they all have to live in the same box.
*A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.
Monday, January 3, 2011
Revvin' in 2011
Hello all! Here's hoping as you read this you are reflecting on happy times during your break from school and what not.
The Loo-Loo Crew is holding steady:
The Loo-Loo Crew is holding steady:
- Mr. Man has gone 6 weeks with no aggression!
- Miss Fabulous is making continued slow progress in her attachment to family members, having real feeling and owning them, and taking responsibility for her choices. We have even seen some appropriate big sister behavior and interaction with Lil Bro. Fantastic!
- We had our Family Anniversary Day and everyone shared what that liked best about the other members of the family and what they liked about being a part of this family. Lil Bro at age 4 said, "I wike being in this fam-o-lee because I wike to wuv my Mommy and Daddy." He gets it! Love him!
- The Hubs and I just celebrated our 17 year anniversary!
- They have all been sick with the usual colds and cough and we have finally lost the battle and are saddling up to see the pediatrician today in fact.
- Big Sis has been doing well. We are dealing with the hormonal 11 year old stuff where her mood swings like the wind is blowing. But no major issues as yet.
The PJ crew!
Big Sis making doggy treats!
Big Sis with the Fur Babies - Jasmine and Chico.
Mom and Miss Fabulous at school!
Mom and Mr. Man at school!
Miss lookin' cute!
The Cuddlers!
Friday, December 10, 2010
Update
Things have been busy for sure so I have been neglectful on the bloggy front.
Thanks to those who have inquired on how we are here in Loo Loo Land!
· We took a trip to visit family up north in November. The kids traveled well, which is always a plus! Miss Fabulous had a visit with Grandma and Paw Paw while we were away since the Dad was staying behind to finish some work on the floors here at the Loo Loo Ranch. Miss enjoyed time as the only child and swimming in the hot tub!
· The school seems to be getting a clearer picture of Mr. Man and Miss Fabulous and seem to be meeting their needs well this year. After Mr. yanked out clumps of his hair in frustration during a meltdown the school started making accommodations in handwriting and homework. I have been really impressed with this since he did not melt down at school but at home regarding school; they still saw it as significant. And that equals help!
· The speech teacher called me following some testing she had done with Miss. The testing was to get an overall view of Miss’ abilities academically. I went to the school for a meeting with her and she showed me the results of the testing, which were on the low side and therefore qualify Miss for continued help via her IEP. But she wanted me to see why Miss’ scores were low, because she clearly “was not feeling motivated to do her best.” For instance Miss correctly identified infantry as a vocabulary word but was not able to identify the colors red and yellow or apple. The only thing that surprised me is that my 7 year old knew what infantry was! Both the teacher the speech teacher and the IEP coordinator have indicated that they have Miss’ number and understand her lack of motivation at times. Rolled into that she has some areas, which are clearly not strengths for her such as word tenses, and she is getting help in those areas as well.
· We are still dealing with homework tantrums.
· Mr. Man was sick last week with an ear infection, sinus infection and viral tonsillitis. His temp was 103.2 with both Motrin and Tylenol. Poor guy!
· Miss still visits the school clinic when she is not happy about something in class. They usually send her packing with in 2 minutes once her temp is negative.
· Lil Bro is doing awesome in school and life in general.
· Big Sis is doing well too, we have had to revamp our at home schooling schedule. I guess it is typical to have adjustments when you begin schooling at home.
· On a sad note my kitty cat who is 17 years old and who I raised on a bottle because his Mom and litter mates all died, has bone cancer. The tumor is located on his rib cage and is aggressive. Right now he is comfortable and that is our goal but in the next few weeks that will likely change and we will need to make the humane choice on his behalf.
Keep on keepin’ on!
Thanks to those who have inquired on how we are here in Loo Loo Land!
· We took a trip to visit family up north in November. The kids traveled well, which is always a plus! Miss Fabulous had a visit with Grandma and Paw Paw while we were away since the Dad was staying behind to finish some work on the floors here at the Loo Loo Ranch. Miss enjoyed time as the only child and swimming in the hot tub!
· The school seems to be getting a clearer picture of Mr. Man and Miss Fabulous and seem to be meeting their needs well this year. After Mr. yanked out clumps of his hair in frustration during a meltdown the school started making accommodations in handwriting and homework. I have been really impressed with this since he did not melt down at school but at home regarding school; they still saw it as significant. And that equals help!
· The speech teacher called me following some testing she had done with Miss. The testing was to get an overall view of Miss’ abilities academically. I went to the school for a meeting with her and she showed me the results of the testing, which were on the low side and therefore qualify Miss for continued help via her IEP. But she wanted me to see why Miss’ scores were low, because she clearly “was not feeling motivated to do her best.” For instance Miss correctly identified infantry as a vocabulary word but was not able to identify the colors red and yellow or apple. The only thing that surprised me is that my 7 year old knew what infantry was! Both the teacher the speech teacher and the IEP coordinator have indicated that they have Miss’ number and understand her lack of motivation at times. Rolled into that she has some areas, which are clearly not strengths for her such as word tenses, and she is getting help in those areas as well.
· We are still dealing with homework tantrums.
· Mr. Man was sick last week with an ear infection, sinus infection and viral tonsillitis. His temp was 103.2 with both Motrin and Tylenol. Poor guy!
· Miss still visits the school clinic when she is not happy about something in class. They usually send her packing with in 2 minutes once her temp is negative.
· Lil Bro is doing awesome in school and life in general.
· Big Sis is doing well too, we have had to revamp our at home schooling schedule. I guess it is typical to have adjustments when you begin schooling at home.
· On a sad note my kitty cat who is 17 years old and who I raised on a bottle because his Mom and litter mates all died, has bone cancer. The tumor is located on his rib cage and is aggressive. Right now he is comfortable and that is our goal but in the next few weeks that will likely change and we will need to make the humane choice on his behalf.
Keep on keepin’ on!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Teacher Conference
Tuesday was teacher parent conference night and we had a meeting with Mr. Man and Miss Fabulous' teachers and some of the support staff. The consensus was that Mr. needs some extra help and some accommodations such as typing homework instead of hand writing sentences. The support staff and teacher were concerned that he had recently ripped out a bunch of his hair and since homework stresses him out they felt it appropriate to make accommodations. The Hubs and I were on board with that!
Mr.'s situation is such that even though he does not melt down at school his teacher is very well aware of how stressed he is at times. He is driven by the need to be done first, if he isn't done first then he feels that his work doesn't count at all, that it isn't valuable. And it doesn't matter how many times it is explained to him this is the way it is in his mind.
It is reassuring that he seems to be on track for getting needed help this year at school.
Both of the kids have new speech teachers this year and they both are gung ho. Miss' speech teacher wants to test test test and I said go for it! Miss had just taken a reading assessment that day and she scored as a beginning reader in the second grade. Much lower than she had scored the last time she was tested. I asked the teacher if she felt that was accurate and she said no and I said me neither. I said that I would guess that Miss Fab did not feel like taking that test at that time. Mrs. Teacher said that was correct because she had to keep instructing Miss to get back to work and that this was important and that she needed to do her best.
A typical thing to direct a student on as a teacher but with Miss probably the most wrong thing to say. She said that she would retest her as soon as she was allowed to and that we would see how she did then. I honestly considered recommending that they use candy and let her know the higher the score the more candy she'd get. She'd ace it but that seems inappropriate.
We looked over some of the work that Miss had recently done and the teacher mentioned that her grades were not as good as they were getting into the real second grade curriculum and we said that was consistent with what we had seen in the past. She recognized that there were answers that were obviously wrong that she felt Miss probably really did know the answer to. That was encouraging to feel that the teacher understood that. It is just Miss way of rebelling against being told to do something that she doesn't want to be doing. She is not comfortable to tantrum there at school but she will refuse to answer their questions correctly so take that!
The teacher seemed to understand that Miss is not always on the level but that she is a pretty cute kid any how. Miss seems to be having better peer relationships in school. The teacher said that she feels Miss has the concepts that are being taught and that she tends to be a ring leader in her small group and that her group tends to do the best in terms of the concepts that they are working on. I told her that was consistent with what Miss was sharing at home because she had told me that she was "very popular" and that "everyone wants to be in my group and I have to say whoa there slow down a minute people!" Her teacher said that was accurate.
I hope that this positive trend carries on. This is the time of year where we tend to see the most stability from Miss. And I'm thankful for it!
This is Sparks the firefighting dragon. As room Mom for Mr's class I was assigned to the job of drawing Mr. Sparks. The kids will be decorating him on Friday. On Monday I am commissioned to help with Miss' class hero. These characters are for a contest related to the schools book fair. Reading counts!
This is just a cute pic that I found when I was uploading Mr. Spark. Dad took these three kids hiking while Miss went with Mom and Nan shopping.
And that's one to grow on!
Mr.'s situation is such that even though he does not melt down at school his teacher is very well aware of how stressed he is at times. He is driven by the need to be done first, if he isn't done first then he feels that his work doesn't count at all, that it isn't valuable. And it doesn't matter how many times it is explained to him this is the way it is in his mind.
It is reassuring that he seems to be on track for getting needed help this year at school.
Both of the kids have new speech teachers this year and they both are gung ho. Miss' speech teacher wants to test test test and I said go for it! Miss had just taken a reading assessment that day and she scored as a beginning reader in the second grade. Much lower than she had scored the last time she was tested. I asked the teacher if she felt that was accurate and she said no and I said me neither. I said that I would guess that Miss Fab did not feel like taking that test at that time. Mrs. Teacher said that was correct because she had to keep instructing Miss to get back to work and that this was important and that she needed to do her best.
A typical thing to direct a student on as a teacher but with Miss probably the most wrong thing to say. She said that she would retest her as soon as she was allowed to and that we would see how she did then. I honestly considered recommending that they use candy and let her know the higher the score the more candy she'd get. She'd ace it but that seems inappropriate.
We looked over some of the work that Miss had recently done and the teacher mentioned that her grades were not as good as they were getting into the real second grade curriculum and we said that was consistent with what we had seen in the past. She recognized that there were answers that were obviously wrong that she felt Miss probably really did know the answer to. That was encouraging to feel that the teacher understood that. It is just Miss way of rebelling against being told to do something that she doesn't want to be doing. She is not comfortable to tantrum there at school but she will refuse to answer their questions correctly so take that!
The teacher seemed to understand that Miss is not always on the level but that she is a pretty cute kid any how. Miss seems to be having better peer relationships in school. The teacher said that she feels Miss has the concepts that are being taught and that she tends to be a ring leader in her small group and that her group tends to do the best in terms of the concepts that they are working on. I told her that was consistent with what Miss was sharing at home because she had told me that she was "very popular" and that "everyone wants to be in my group and I have to say whoa there slow down a minute people!" Her teacher said that was accurate.
I hope that this positive trend carries on. This is the time of year where we tend to see the most stability from Miss. And I'm thankful for it!
This is Sparks the firefighting dragon. As room Mom for Mr's class I was assigned to the job of drawing Mr. Sparks. The kids will be decorating him on Friday. On Monday I am commissioned to help with Miss' class hero. These characters are for a contest related to the schools book fair. Reading counts!
This is just a cute pic that I found when I was uploading Mr. Spark. Dad took these three kids hiking while Miss went with Mom and Nan shopping.
Thursday, November 4, 2010
FUNNY AND SWEET
I received this in an e-mail, hope it makes you smile!
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is.......
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10
1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (written by kids)
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10
-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10
2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10
3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8
4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8
5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8
-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10
6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7
-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
- - Curt, age 7
-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- - Howard, age 8
7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9
8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8
And the #1 Favorite is.......
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10
Sunday, October 31, 2010
School Days, making progress!
After the weeks homework battle things improved greatly. There was a book report that Miss had to accomplish on Wednesday which included making a sheep out of a milk jug. We waited til the last minute in part because of how much time her regular homework had been taking because of the battles. But ... the last minute went well so no complaints. Our milk jug sheep was a big hit in the classroom and Miss liked that. For the book report itself we found the points that needed to be shared together and I wrote them down for us and then Miss rewrote the report independently. She did very well with that and got gobs of praise about what a big girl she was and what an awesome job she is doing. I hope that we are on the right track to shape her behavior toward homework in a positive way. We love helping the kids with homework it can be an really enjoyable time together but the manipulation can not be supported. I think we are on the right track.
Mr. is struggling with homework but this week went better. For him he needs to know that he can leave the homework and come back to it. He doesn't handle feeling trapped by the homework well and he starts to unravel. But the realization that he can walk away and take a break and return back to the work seems to be helping. Writing is a huge challenge for him and tends to overwhelm him so writing one sentence at a time and going to play for a few minutes and then coming back is working for him at the moment.
Friday I got to volunteer in Mr.'s classroom and it was very interesting to see him in that environment. Other teachers were having fall parties but Mr.'s teacher choose to have a centers activity day. We did a sink or float activity with different veggies and the kids had to predict whether the item would sink or float and why. There was a counting activity with pumpkin seeds where the kids got to scoop out pumpkin seeds from the pumpkin and then guess how many seeds they had and then actually count them. They also made a prediction about the size of the pumpkin by cutting a piece of yarn that they guessed would go around the whole pumpkin. There was a leaf rubbing center and a mat weaving center. It all went really well and the kids never missed the sugary treats!
Mr. is struggling with homework but this week went better. For him he needs to know that he can leave the homework and come back to it. He doesn't handle feeling trapped by the homework well and he starts to unravel. But the realization that he can walk away and take a break and return back to the work seems to be helping. Writing is a huge challenge for him and tends to overwhelm him so writing one sentence at a time and going to play for a few minutes and then coming back is working for him at the moment.
Friday I got to volunteer in Mr.'s classroom and it was very interesting to see him in that environment. Other teachers were having fall parties but Mr.'s teacher choose to have a centers activity day. We did a sink or float activity with different veggies and the kids had to predict whether the item would sink or float and why. There was a counting activity with pumpkin seeds where the kids got to scoop out pumpkin seeds from the pumpkin and then guess how many seeds they had and then actually count them. They also made a prediction about the size of the pumpkin by cutting a piece of yarn that they guessed would go around the whole pumpkin. There was a leaf rubbing center and a mat weaving center. It all went really well and the kids never missed the sugary treats!
Sink or Float Center
Counting Pumpkin Seeds
Mat Weaving Station and it was Crazy Hat day so yes that is Mario
on my son's head. :-)
Leaf Rubbing Station
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Homework Headaches
Thanks for all the comments checking in on me!
Overall Miss Fab is doing well and is obviously stable at the moment. However, she is digging in with both heals regarding homework. Despite getting A's in math on her report card she maintains that she does not know how to do the work. One minute she can count money and the next she has no clue. She wants us to do the work step for step for her. In the past this gag worked pretty well for her. She is very believable and as a parent your natural instinct is to help the child. Unfortunately she is clearly manipulating the help and now that we have our ducks in a row and clearly understand her level of ability it is time for her to get to work.
She is going into full on rages, ripping up the papers with her aggressive erasing technique and flat out refusing to move forward. After an hour and a half for 5 problems and a full on rage I decided that we would give her 10 minutes to get the work done or Dad would take her to school the next morning and explain to Mrs. Teacher why the paper looked the way it did and why it was still not complete. She was clearly torn. She did not like the thought of him coming to class and talking to Mrs. Teacher but she also did not want to give in and do the work. She completed one more of the math problems and it was done correctly but refused to do the last problem.
Dad took her to school the next day and asked Mrs. Teacher if Miss Fab knew how to do this work and she was confident that she did. He explained what had happened etc. The teacher said that Miss refuses to answer when she is called on sometimes and sometimes she does not complete her work. Dad explained in the past that it had been determined that was willful behavior and having to do work during recess time had encouraged her to get her work completed in a timely manner.
We have a conference scheduled with Miss Fab's teacher on Nov. 9.
Mr. Behavior Guy was not all together helpful yesterday. He seemed to talk out of both sides of his mouth saying one thing one time and another thing the next time. He started falling back on "I'm using this method and that method" regarding homework help and trying to determine which method works best. The Hubs and I were perturbed and explained numerous times that we were confident that Miss understood the work and she needed to do it. He would agree with that but his actions didn't support that. It was disheartening because this guy has been coming to our house for 2 years, once a week to work with Miss. He has seen her in a full on rage many times, he has watched the manipulation she uses and still she can convince him that she doesn't know something that she does know. What chance do with have with a teacher? None.
Ultimately the suggestion was to work the homework through with Miss on a separate piece of paper and then have her redo the work on her actual homework sheet to turn in. This way she is still having to accomplish the work independently and she can not maintain that she doesn't understand it. The consequence within the "method" is that she has to do the work twice if she isn't willing to do the work independently the first time. We are going to give it a try. If she refuses to do the work independently the second time, having the answers and the work right in front of her from the first time, then it is clearly willful and we are to stick to her not moving on to anything else until she does it. We are in for some lonnnnnnnnnnng nights.
Overall Miss Fab is doing well and is obviously stable at the moment. However, she is digging in with both heals regarding homework. Despite getting A's in math on her report card she maintains that she does not know how to do the work. One minute she can count money and the next she has no clue. She wants us to do the work step for step for her. In the past this gag worked pretty well for her. She is very believable and as a parent your natural instinct is to help the child. Unfortunately she is clearly manipulating the help and now that we have our ducks in a row and clearly understand her level of ability it is time for her to get to work.
She is going into full on rages, ripping up the papers with her aggressive erasing technique and flat out refusing to move forward. After an hour and a half for 5 problems and a full on rage I decided that we would give her 10 minutes to get the work done or Dad would take her to school the next morning and explain to Mrs. Teacher why the paper looked the way it did and why it was still not complete. She was clearly torn. She did not like the thought of him coming to class and talking to Mrs. Teacher but she also did not want to give in and do the work. She completed one more of the math problems and it was done correctly but refused to do the last problem.
Dad took her to school the next day and asked Mrs. Teacher if Miss Fab knew how to do this work and she was confident that she did. He explained what had happened etc. The teacher said that Miss refuses to answer when she is called on sometimes and sometimes she does not complete her work. Dad explained in the past that it had been determined that was willful behavior and having to do work during recess time had encouraged her to get her work completed in a timely manner.
We have a conference scheduled with Miss Fab's teacher on Nov. 9.
Mr. Behavior Guy was not all together helpful yesterday. He seemed to talk out of both sides of his mouth saying one thing one time and another thing the next time. He started falling back on "I'm using this method and that method" regarding homework help and trying to determine which method works best. The Hubs and I were perturbed and explained numerous times that we were confident that Miss understood the work and she needed to do it. He would agree with that but his actions didn't support that. It was disheartening because this guy has been coming to our house for 2 years, once a week to work with Miss. He has seen her in a full on rage many times, he has watched the manipulation she uses and still she can convince him that she doesn't know something that she does know. What chance do with have with a teacher? None.
Ultimately the suggestion was to work the homework through with Miss on a separate piece of paper and then have her redo the work on her actual homework sheet to turn in. This way she is still having to accomplish the work independently and she can not maintain that she doesn't understand it. The consequence within the "method" is that she has to do the work twice if she isn't willing to do the work independently the first time. We are going to give it a try. If she refuses to do the work independently the second time, having the answers and the work right in front of her from the first time, then it is clearly willful and we are to stick to her not moving on to anything else until she does it. We are in for some lonnnnnnnnnnng nights.
On a positive note the weekend went pretty well. The Hubs and I took Mr. Man and Miss Fabulous camping, in a tent this past weekend. Big Sis went to Grandma's for a visit and Lil Bro got the weekend to himself with Nana.
Miss took this picture of Mom and Dad.
They fell asleep, you would have thought they were rowing!
It was a really nice experience for the kids. And Mom made it through too.
Dad was in his glory!
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