Sunday, January 17, 2010
Wrangle Um In
She had done well through out the day with lots of good effort on her part but her mind seemed distracted a lot. She struggled with her facial expressions and seemed aware of it and seemed to be making an effort to work through it, impressive for a 6 year old.
As her attachment has deepened she seeks approval from her family. But the course of the day was such that all 3 of the oldest kids had their various struggles and the demand for attention inevitably collided. Last night at bedtime Miss M asked for help getting her PJ's on. I said for her to get started and I would come and help her. Another child came to me at that time with a scratch that needed ointment, which I could not find anywhere in the darn house. Why do people refuse to use my categories and put things back where they belong?
In the midst of me helping child #2 Miss M asked Nan to help her dress, Nan did. Then Nan gave the directive to brush teeth, Nan went to help. At the same time Nan removed the headband off of Miss M's head and viola - unprovoked RAGE. Her brain left the building in a nanosecond, Dad had to put her in a hold (first time in 4 months), and I still could not find the darn ointment for child #2.
Dad only had to hold her for 3 to 4 minutes and the entire episode only lasted for 15 minutes. Her brain began to return to her and she used the calming techniques she has learned. I went in and we talked about how that could have gone differently. She did not want to brush her hair (no one was planning to brush her hair) and we discussed how she could have used her words to explain that she did not want to brush hair or that she wanted to wait for Mom or whatever was bothering her. We talked about what she choose to do, get angry. I asked her how that worked out for her and she said, "Not to good." What could you have done, "Tell the grown up." Good one.
In reality her brain is just not working well at the moment. As I have said before the Chihuahua Chico is our own personal service dog and has unsolicited training as a seizure dog apparently and when Miss M's brain chemicals are off he will not go near her, he will not let her pet him, he will not come when she calls him, etc. Guess who is avoiding Miss M like the plague this Sunday?
Not to worry she will get the train back on the track shortly I am sure.
Mr. is making improvements. His CBA and I had a long talk Tuesday about where adjustments could be made. We all recognize that Mr.'s brain is not on track at the moment either, but it is getting better. Since Mr. is VERY time orientated we decided to make his earned Wii time on more of a set time schedule instead every ___ hours. There are set times for the school week and set times for weekend days or time off from school. Mr. is getting right with that program.
He has become very combative as he has become a little older, both verbally and physically. Our first plan of action is to extinguish the aggression. So he does not fail to earn his next Wii time as long as he does not use hands for hurting. If he uses hands (or body) for hurting or destroys property the next Wii time is not earned.
We are making progress. He did give Mr. CBA the wango-tango Tuesday night. Mr. CBA had to get Mom to come in, he has NEVER done that before. It isn't that Mr. CBA can't handle Mr. on his own but he is seeking the most effective way to help him and at that moment it was Mama.
Mr. does not like conversations that he does not start or that are not of interest to him. His little friend at school might start a conversation about Mario Brothers and that will be fine and great because that interests him. But overall if he didn't start the conversation he is not interested in it. So Mr. CBA's teaching talks about when we can't get our own way and not using aggression are really not of interest to Mr. He feels like he has had the talk, he knows the dialog, time to move on. Wrong.
The kids are off from school tomorrow so send up an extra prayer for the Loo Loo Crew!