Day 6 on the RAD planet W.O.D. - I think

I think this is day 6, if not close enough.

Miss M was up last night from 2 AM on.  She has a lovely little talent in that she can make herself throw up.  Apparently she had some drainage going on and that just added to her cause and viola.  No fever, she ate like a champion at dinner, and requested dessert, no evidence of real illness.  It is so hard to know for sure.  She woke up at 2 AM and went to the potty and then reported that her pants were wet.  Which came first?  I'm not totally sure because at 2 AM I am not at my best, I'll be honest.

I think that this may be related to Dad not being here.  Dad calls every evening around our dinnertime and talks to Miss M and whatever other kids want to talk, the two boys are fickle.  Sometimes they want to talk and sometimes not.

I sent an e-mail to Miss M's teacher explaining the night and lack of sleep in the even that she had a sleepy 6 year old on her hands and wondered why.

Mr. C is not behaving well at all.  He also had his behavior marker moved in class yesterday.  Normally my two challenging children have excellent behavior in school.  So when either of them starts acting up at school it is a sign of just how much they are struggling. 

I am awaiting feed back from his teacher on the matter and am considering giving the psychiatrist a call.  I know that there are several students in his class who are acting up badly and that is very disruptive to him, that in addition to Dad being gone and it is just hard to know exactly what is upsetting his apple cart.

Mr. C age 3, Big Sis age 6, Miss m age 3

Fortunate

I am fortunate.

Fortunate to have a faith that gets me through and can always show me the way out.

Fortunate to have a husband that sticks with me and our kids no matter what life brings to us. 

Fortunate to have a mother in law who stands by her son and myself and our kids.  That she will absolutely do whatever whenever it is needed.  Who told me daily even when we did not know what was wrong with Miss M, "It's not you.  You are a good mother." 

Fortunate to have outstanding professionals guiding our family and sticking with us.  That actually say, "I don't have all the answers either but I am not going anywhere."

Fortunate that some wonderful scientist in Japan made an AMAZING medication that benefits my daughter who was so out of control at 5 years old she needed to be hospitalized, we just couldn't find a hospital that would take her.

Fortunate that the video camera was invented so that I had and have proof of how mentally ill my child is, even if she can hold it together through out the school day and at Grandma's house.

Fortunate that she has raged in front other people and professionals who have written reports that confirm our daughter is mentally ill and needs the help that she is getting.

Fortunate that her insurance covers the cost of her medications and behavior services.

Fortunate that my house is small enough to make monitoring possible and functional so that we don't all kill each other.

Fortunate that so many things have come together to make her healing process possible.

This weekend has gone well so far.  The school week went well here at home.  No problems in the morning.

We went to Ci Ci's Pizza this afternoon for lunch. 

Here's the car ride view.

Do we look a little full up?

See everyone looking at the movie?

See that no one was fighting?

Dad got a new toy. 
His boss bought him a lap top for work.                                                                      

Which one of these does not belong? 

That's right, both of them. 

First the almost 7 year old snuck came into Mom's bed. 

And then Daisy the Pit Bull joined him snuck in.                                                                        

The cuteness factor is way not fair. 
How can we kick them out? 

We are a work in progress.                                                                                    

Nighty Night

Why will that kid not go to sleep? I love my little 3-year-old joy but good grief already, go to sleep. The whole stay in your bed is a work in progress. I guess I need the super nanny to actually stop by the house. I don't know.

I stay and sit with him while he goes to sleep in his bed. He takes a 20-minute nap during the day while we pick up the big kids from school, that's it. Tonight I sat in that room for a stinking hour and a half. I was so sick of seeing those darn fish swimming and that tranquility elevator music playing that I wanted to pull my hair out. My sweet angelic baby boy of 3 years old flipped and flopped and flip flopped and tried this pillow and that pillow and hugged Lamby and then no Lamby and then sit up and me, "Lay down it's sleep time." More scooching and flipping and flopping and rolling around and and and. Good grief Charlie Brown Mom is going to lose it!

10 pm he finally went to sleep. Okay so I yelled first and then he went to sleep. It's not okay to yell Mom, stay in control of your voice tone. I have no doubt scarred him for life, he will now have nightmares so on and so forth and what have you. I am ashamed to say it but WHO CARES he went to sleep!

I am with my precious sunshine all day long, joy joy happy happy - we are. And then we have the afternoon homework dinner making combo routine and bath time and snack and bedtime and let's face it Mom lives for her 60 minutes of piece and quiet before she too gives way to sleep.

Ahem. Anyway, I am relaxing currently. And enjoying my me time.

Homework was brutal tonight! Never. Going. To. End. My word! The 5th grade math is getting on my nerves frankly. Then we have Science homework to cover and a Social Studies test to study for. I am happy to report that I know the exact location of Kansas, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Minnesota, Michigan, Iowa, Illinois, Indiana, Wisconsin, Ohio, a few others AND their capitals and their appreciations. I came up with a few little ditties like how we like to sing when we are at the great lakes of Michigan and it's capital Lansing. Or how our friend Madison likes to eat cheese in the great state of Wisconsin because Madison is the capital of Wisconsin. Or how our buddy Paul likes to drink soda in Minnesota who's capital is St. Paul. Bring on that 5th grade social studies test I would so ace it!

Did I mention that we still had to study for a spelling test? Let's just say it is a good thing that we did study because otherwise we would have received a big F on that test. I think we have it covered now.

And then there was mentoring my first grader who is so not getting first grade. Did I post that she has been placed in the mentor program at school to receive help with reading? I am waiting for the mentoring in math because you know and I know that 0+2=2 but I know a certain first grader who puts 0 any time there is a problem with 0 in it. As in 0+2=0. So yeah we're working on that.

She is bringing a lot of work home that she isn't finishing in class. I asked her why she wasn't able to finish and she said, "The teacher goes too fast." Okay, good enough. Nouns and what they are is not coming easy to certain first graders either. The little dog ran fast. Which word here is a person, a place, or a thing? Little? Which one is a person-animal, place or thing? Dog? Right!

She seems to do better with a lot of one on one help. She needs specific explanation and good hints to get the right answers.

And then there was an incident that occurred this evening. I will post about that later. Need to get some insight from the professionals on the matter.  At any rate, nighty night!

(art work by Robert David Bretz)

Growing Up

Okay so update on the whole sleep in your bed plan: Well we are better off than we were a week ago so that equals progress, right?

Lil Bro is going to sleep in his bed each night and I am sitting with him until he falls asleep. Then he is staying put most of the night. The two brothers come creeping in our bed about 3am or so which is better than Lil Bro coming out of his room before I had even gone to bed.

Apparently this new found space in our bed clued Daisy the Pit Bull in that she should come and join us so that we do not feel lonely. So there is still 50 pounds of extra person in our bed most nights.

Miss M is doing better. This evening in fact was down right pleasant. She worked with me on her homework with out any real trials and tribulation. Dinner, bath, snack, and bed went along just fine. She was fast asleep in no time.

Today the 1st graders went to see Cloudy with a chance of meat balls. Miss M enjoyed that tons and probably helped with her happy attitude this evening. Mr. C stayed home today because he does not like to go to the movies. The dark, the noise, the crowd and the 3D stuff all bother him greatly so he declined to go. So I had both my boys home all day. It was really nice. Mr. C is well regulated and just a lovely little guy to have around these days. Lil Bro is completely Denise the Menace naughty but C.U.T.E. cute as a button!

He and I are both sick with a cold virus. I took him to the pediatrician yesterday. Another kid took Lamby! in the waiting room. Lil Bro handled it really well. He did not slug the kid but instead came to Mom and said with great distress he take-ah my Lamby! You git it! So I said to the offender hey buddy that's his Lamby can you give it back please? To which the offender threw Lamby at Lil Bro's head. To which Lil Bro said thanks! And went about his business so I figured we were all good at that point.

Big Sis is a bit crabby these days. She has been getting to bed a tad too late the past few nights for a variety of reasons and when she is lacking in sleep she is a bit crabby. I do not know who she gets that from. ahem.

This afternoon she was biting Mr. C's head off about everything and nothing. She stormed off to her room once we got through the front door. I followed behind and asked if everything was okay at school. To which I was answered yes that it was just Mr. C who was making her miserable. With Big Sis she is a really good kid and when she starts having not so nice kid behavior she responds really well to a big hug from Mom and a talk it out session. She has always been the great communicator which is such a blessing when you are trying to parent someone. Even as little as 3 years old she would say to me I need some Mommy time! And she did. She needed one on one time with Mom to reconnect and to feel all snugly safe again and then she was ready to go back to facing the world with both barrels blazin.

In our talk I explained to her that she is growing up and her interest are starting to change and that is all normal and great but her 6 year old brother and sister don't know what to make of it and it is kind of rocking their boat a bit and when that happens they both act up. I asked her to find a little time for Mr. C later in the afternoon to give him some positive attention because that was what he was looking for from her and he wasn't going about it the right way. I told her to take some time and work on a crafty type project that calms her mind first. She made paper coats and stuff for her toy ponies and dogs. It was so cute. After that she and Mr. C and Lil Bro all played Sponge Bob in the boys room. I listened in on the baby monitor and it was hilarious. They were cracking themselves up.

All in all, a good day!

Laying down the Law!

Okay so we have a situation here that is not uncommon. We have two boys that migrate into our bed at night. Mr. C is not too bad. He doesn't come in until 2 or 3 am. However, his young side kick is a menace to Mama's sleep.

He starts out in his bed but usually comes out and wants "to wok you." He and his trusty companion Lamby who we lovingly refer to as toxic waste Lamby because he usually looks gross. In fact today he smells like pesto because Lil Bro had Pesto and linguine for lunch. And Lamby was as always near by.

That's Lamby in his hand.


And Pesto on his face.

Back to the wok you thing. He is getting worse and worse about not going to sleep and not staying asleep. He wants Mom to lay down with him and wakes up when I try to sneak away. So it has become much to cumbersome to put up with any longer. That and I saw a Super Nanny episode that totally reminded me what I needed to do. I saw this other family doing much of what we do here and I was thinking what a bunch of idiots and then I realized I was one of the idiots. Had myself an ah-ha moment.

We have also been working on Lil Bro's use of the nasty rage voice that he has picked up from other family members. He grits his teeth and screams "give me my ______". We have been using the whole my ears don't work when people scream, you need to ask nicely. And he is getting there, slowly. I was soooooooooooooooooo embarrassed the other day when the check out lady told him to, "Stop screaming in the store, we don't allow screaming." Then he had a stand off and was refusing to leave the store cause kids like to do that when you have your hands full of other things. The check out lady said, "You better go with your Mom, she likes you." Meaning the other store goers were not feeling the love for Mr. rage voice. Oh the pride of that moment still lingers.

So Lil Bro used the whole rage voice at me today while making a demand. I said the my ears don't work bit to which he said, "You give me my _____" and then hit me. Nope! Time out corner Mr. Man. I had to replace him about 15 times and get my linguine off the stove cause apparently it is my life's mission to multi-task with the best of them, but he did the time eventually.

So if you are saying prayers for this family add in there about Lil Bro staying in his bed and giving Mama the strength and wisdom to get through it!

****Update:
9:25pm - Down in the trenches! Still not asleep. (started at 7:30pm)
Has been out at least 10 times, Lamby and sippy cup in hand declaring "I not sweep in dis bed Mommy!"

Keep praying!

10:25pm - The trench is filling with water! Snot flying, he has pee'd the bathroom floor he is so darn mad, and still yelling, "I wok wit you! I not sweep in here!"

11:26pm - Finally asleep in his own bed. Okay so I had to sit beside him and then it still took another 30 minutes ... but he is asleep. I will no doubt be back at this at 2 am for round two when he decides to come to Mommy's bed.

1:11am - Mr. Man is up and mad. Mom gets him back to sleep by patting his back, he protest but finally gives in to sleep. He has completely managed to wake Mr. C by this time. The universe is against me! I have no recollection at what point Mr. C went back to sleep. I had to tuck him in and assure him that he was going to stay in that bed.

I did get back to sleep in my bed.

Middle of the night - at some point I ended up in the bed in the boys room. I do not admit defeat because they did stay in their bed.

6:00am - Mr. C is awake. Not happening! By 6:30am I migrate into my bed and take Mr. C with me so that he does not wake the household. Lil Bro is still sleeping in his bed so there is some victory for this weary Mom. Mr. C is not sleeping in Mom's bed but is making every noise known to man as he entertains himself while the household sleeps. At some point I pass out from exhaustion and at some point Nan is awake and so he joins her. That's right moments of sleep with no kids in my bed!

8:00am - Lil Bro wakes up in his own bed and declares with that little kid proud voice, "Mommm I waking in my bedddddddd." As if the night was not in his memory bank at all???
Currently - happy as two larks playing with their trains. ?

*****Update, Day 2:

7:45 pm - Teeth brushed and story time in bed with lullaby music playing. Followed by hugs and kisses and security lovey tucked in place (aka Lamby and Henry the Hippo).

Lil Bro discussed how he wanted to "I lay on you arm Mommy." No can do buddy. Mommy rubbed his head and patted his back and he fidgeted and rearranged and on and on and then suddenly boom...

8:20 pm - he was asleep!

Storms Comin'

Friday night sleep over night in Miss M's room. Big Sis and some real dogs were invited. This was a big step forward to feel that Miss M could handle this treat. The girls had worked toward it and planned it for most of the week.

Miss M had a hard time going to sleep. She was so excited at the whole arrangement. It was 10 pm before she finally went to sleep. Her normal bedtime is 7:30 and sleep by 8 pm. Regulated sleep is a BIG deal for kids with her issues.

The next morning.

Ain't this a pretty picture? Don't you think, "All's well there." THINK AGAIN BUDDY!

Moments pre-RAGE.

In looking at our calendar we realized it had been exactly 3 weeks since the previous rage so things were right on time, I guess. It was a pretty yucky one. Dad was able to help her stay safe. She pretty much struggled emotionally the remainder of the day and in fact had been struggling emotionally prior to the rage. She was "off" from the get go.


These pics were from the afternoon.

We kept her close with adults and we all stayed busy.

The sky can look so blue and beautiful.

And then dark clouds are rolling in just on the other side of the fence.

That's kind of what life is like for someone and their family dealing with mental illness.

Miss M's attachment to Big Sis continues to deepen and grow stronger, which is so wonderful to see. Not only because of that wonderful sister bond that we wanted for them but because Miss M can truly love someone and value them.

Cause the love in your heart wasn't put there to stay. Love isn't love until you give it away.

Saturday 10-25-08

I am nearly asleep already because I had to take Benadryl for my itchy nose. It is allergy related but geeze I drive myself nuts with the constant itching. So anyway I am fading fast.

Poor M started out with a major rage early on this morning. She got so angry that she pee'd on her floor and informed Dad as she was making the pee that she was not going to be cleaning that up either! The pee pee thing is new, she has only done it a few times. She also bit her own arm badly. You can see each one of her teeth with that bruise. So sad, it just breaks my heart. She had refused to take her meds all morning but after the rage I was able to convince her to go ahead and take them. We give her a small cup of Coke and a few chocolate chips as encouragement.

She never raged again after that one but was hyper, impulsive, and very emotional -at least in spurts. We went to a local park and the kids had a blast. M got very gory in her play (talk only). So we needed to re-direct that often. But she followed the direction and left the park with out a tantrum. Bath time is usually a struggle for her, she just doesn't want to have to. But I work with and ease her into the idea and set up rewards such as a sticker on their chart or a sucker or something if she can get through it with out getting angry. She did it.

Both boys gave us a really hard time going to bed. I think we are just not hard core with them enough. We are supposed to put them in their bed following their bedtime routine and come out of the room and replace them in the room if they come out. At some point they will accept these are the facts and this is how it goes from now on. We are not there yet, for sure.