The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Monday, February 8, 2010

RETRO

Sometimes I get tired of being a therapeutic parent. I like to fix something or get over it but either way I'm looking to move on, move forward. However, it seems with the challenge of raising traumatized kids they just keep going RETRO!

Miss M has been experiencing some wonderful healing over the past months. Her moods finally stabilized and that seemed the ticket to everything moving forward. But the trauma these kids experienced changed their "wiring" in the brain and we the therapeutic parents are kind of like the electrician working blind folded with one arm tied behind our backs while we "rework" the "wiring" and try not to get killed in the process. On good days and months we get more wires plugged in where they should be and on not so good days we get shocked a lot. :-0

Miss has been pulling out some old behaviors lately. She had a major tantrum yesterday with some mild aggression over the oh so important subject of not wanting to wear long pants in 50 degree weather. Lil Bro had dressed himself dunt dunt da … in shorts. That was going to be addressed but it had not been addressed yet because he had not asked to go outside yet. Miss M's "that's not fair" button had been pushed and she was ready to tango.

When she calmed down we were able to talk about what she could have done differently and how that would have made things better. Second verse same as the first.

There seemed to be a thousand and two RETRO behaviors over the weekend. The one that really made my brain go, "Are you kidding me? Are we ever going to get past this stuff? Where is MY get out of jail free card?" was dinner and eating her vegetable. I mean honestly this is way old stuff we are talking about from the land of been there and done that.

The incident involved lying so I called her into the kitchen and asked what was up with the veggie deal and lying about it? She did not want to talk about it. I sort of talked her through the situation. We talked about what happens when you tell a person lies. She said, "They don't like you." I explained for the one millionth and two times that Mommy likes you and loves you even if she doesn't agree with your behavior. You are not the things that you do so I can like you and love you with out liking the things that you do. We had a reminder lesson on lying and on that note she wanted to give Mommy a real hug.  (She has been Mommy's big girl helper aka restitution.)

A few minutes later she was playing and Lil Bro was being loud, not in a tantrum way but he is just a loud kid. It startled her and she said told him "Don't do that!" And then she said, "But I still like you." :-) It was a nice moment because she was not aware that I was observing her so the statement was not for show.

Mr. was a bit off this weekend as well. The Loo Loo crew has been sick and with their history of asthma (yes all of them) and pneumonia (yes all of them, last winter was a real treat) they have to take breathing treatments and prescription cold med at night. Miss M is better than she was last week but is still on antibiotics and breathing treatments. All of that affects their behavior, I know this but it doesn't make it easier to deal with.

I am going to make this a TO BE CONTINUED post because I am sick too and my asthma is giving me some challenges and I be tired. Over and out!

6 comments:

GB's Mom said...

I wish you better breathing and lots of sleep. I never thought of it as "Retro" - but you are right.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

HA HA Fear the fluffy! HAAAAA!

Same here, we have had a massive regression into the world of the bizarre retro. ARGH!

Mom 4 Kids said...

You know a very good friend e-mailed me and shared that her kids have been going retro also, she said maybe it's the winter. Maybe.

J. said...

we are all retro all the time over here as well! Perhaps there is something in the water.

SanitySrchr said...

Is there something in the water?? I know we share the same aquifer and all. Mine have gone Retro, too...and then one decides to start new behaviors (the only one without trauma!) Major drama, but I've not had a chance to blog about it yet!! Chin up! Progress, even with a little Retro, is GREAT!!

marythemom said...

I thought you needed some sunshine so I gave you an award. Stop by http://marythemom-mayhem.blogspot.com/2010/02/and-now-for-something-completely.html to pick it up.

Hugs and prayers,
Mary in TX