Monday 11-10-08

The Weekend - went well over all. I am sick. I had a major allergy attack Saturday that has gone into a sinus infection with a slight temp. My asthma is really acting up too.

M did not rage all weekend. Saturday she went with our family friend for respite time for the family. She went swimming and had a really good time. The transition back into the group is never easy for her, so the break is normally bitter sweet. But she did not rage and was obviously using control.

The rest of us worked on painting V's room. It is really awesome. The main color is exquisite pink with an accent color called love land which is a darker pink. We did the bottom 1/4 of the wall the dark pink and she wants animals from Africa painted on her walls. So that is next. M's room is a peaceful garden and lavender colors with butterflies. The boys room is going to be Sponge Bob and blue.

Sunday went well too. We split the girls and boys up in to two groups and spent the afternoon like that. Dad and the boys went to the library and hiking on a small trail and the girls went shopping and to the park. The 3 older kids played animals (little figures) together in the living room for about 15 min. It usually ends with M having a rage so I discourage this interaction. But as she is seeming more stable on the new med I set it up this way. If fighting starts the game is over and all 3 go outside and pick weeds. Doesn't matter who started it or what it is about all 3 will go out and pick weeds. Got it? They all nodded yes and looked kind of stunned. I added "so help each other make good choices." C needs a lot of help to play nicely but instead of helping him the girls tend to gang up on him because they would prefer he not be playing anyway. He gets his feelings hurt and angry and M gets angry and once she is angry she rages - point of no return. I added now some of you might need to rant and rage for an hour or so before you pick weeds because you will be good and angry at Mom having to end the game. Not a problem, we have 3 grown ups here so 1 of us can help the one having a tantrum and when the tantrum is all done there will still be plenty of weeds for that one to pick. Got it? Everyone nodes yes. :-)

Losing TV if you have a tantrum seems to be helping everyone get a grip too. The thing is that when M is not stable no parenting in the world is going to work. You can't parent away diabetes and you can't parent away chemical imbalances. But once we denote stable minds then consequences are appropriate. With out consequences why would any of us behave ourselves?

V seems to have settled down too. She completed her weeding chore. She grumped about it and took lots of breaks but she got it done. I finally told her to knock it off with the complaining or I would add to the job. That seemed to help. I reminded her also that she earned the chore by having an outrageous temper tantrum where she assaulted both me and her brother and a bike. A big job would help her remember to use self control and her words the next time she got up set. She is a good kid and she agreed. While she was picking weeds Nan and I were painting her room, not a bad deal.

C had a tough time Sunday morning but then he recovered and did well the rest of the day. The kids are still earning stickers for good behavior, 10 stickers equals a reward of their choice. I have been giving 2 stickers a day if the child has good behavior in the morning and afternoon. 1 sticker if they had a problem in either the morn or the afternoon but did well other wise. This way if they blow it in the morning they don't feel like to heck with it the day is lost anyway.

M starts her new routine of after care at school where she gets to go play on the play ground with other kids and do fun activities until Nan picks her up. The break from the group in the after noon seems to be helpful to her.