It has not been a good week. Our magical helper med was removed, NO GO we are NO GO for launch! It had to come back. We are seeing minimal improvement daily with it coming back into the system. Meaning she did not rage yesterday, day 2 of it being back.
When most families are enjoying time away from school and work, holiday breaks. In all honesty we dread it. We have to form a plan to ensure that at least 2 adults are present if Miss M is going to be at home. That has really turned in to Dad having to be present. I am starting to see that wear on him.
I try to remain positive, hopeful. But it is times like these when I wonder what is the future going to be? Even in the times when it is better it is so very hard to deal with. Constantly having to be on mentally, present physically. We used to be people and a couple, not simply parents to children with out of the ordinary problems.
School is finished Thursday here and Dad and Viv head off Friday to TN for her first camping and hiking trip. Camp Master is thrilled! Nan and I will stay here with the boys, which we are excited about too. And Miss M is going to Grandma's house. This is the first time she has been anywhere since last summer. She wants to go, which is good. I guess. What is good anymore? I sure am not sure.
Here is what our week looked like:
day 7 with miracle med out of the picture - picking at sister in the car on the way to school which turned into hitting, happy hyper in the evening, difficult to settle, putting feet on CBA inappropriately, difficulty getting to sleep. Beginning of the end???
day 8 - morning bad, Viv was willing and able to help Miss M dress for school, pm more hyper stuff, difficulty sleeping
day 9 - am tantrum with yelling screaming and mild hitting, pm - second verse same as the first
day 10 - happy happy happy at school with graduation stuff and party stuff going on, at after care ripped tights to spreads, why? who knows, hyper pm, sleep difficult
day 11 - HELL, am problems right from the get go, HUGE Rage, Mom calls Psychiatrist at home and he puts Miss M back on magic med in addition to new med stating that he has a few kids who need both. The rest of the day? See first statement.
day 1 of magic med back - Rage at high Noon because she wanted to brush her own hair for going out in public (picture Rosanna Rosanna Danna from SNL 1975) picture also not enough hair detangler on the planet to get those rats nest out. It's a no can do situation. After the rage when asked why she got so angry she had no clue. She said because Nan put her clothes in the dryer. ???
day 2 - No rage, very moody, everything bothers her, everyone bothers her, bath good, dinner ate HUGE amounts, sleep good.
day 3 - Back to school, am okay
Interestingly the Psychiatrist had told me that it would take probably 10 days for magic med to come out of her system. Let's just say we confirmed that! And that magic med is NOT going anywhere EVER again!
The new med is specifically for aggression issues. Carter takes a VERY tiny dose of it daily and has NOT had even one tantrum since. Because Miss M was still having some aggression issues and rages the Psychiatrist felt it was worth trying her on the new med. Because these meds are both anti psychotic class of med he can't just put her on both assuming that is what she is going to need ultimately. It is best to see if she can get by with only one med. Best for whom??? Even though they are the same class of med they work differently in the brain. So it would seem she needs both.
Needless to say we are overwhelmed here in loo-loo land. When life is difficult even when Miss M is "stable" it is unbearable when she is "not stable". If you are praying for us, keep it up! We need it!!! And thanks!