The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Weekend Review ... so she raged

Jumping on the trampoline in her 'My Mom Rocks' shirt:

Perspective. Overall we had a good weekend here in loo-loo land. We went out to the rec center Friday night with a group of friends and their kids. It was $2 movie night there and we watched 'Bedtime Stories' staring Adam Sandler. I always hesitate to go to these events because the timing runs into our little kids bedtime and that can certainly get problematic. But this night it all went well.

Saturday was full of this and that including a jackpot yard sale where I ended up knowing the Mom having the yard sale and totally racked up on girls size 6 clothes for Miss M and some toys too. How many pairs of dress up shoes are too many? We aren't sure.

Saturday night we went to dinner at Denny's where kids eat free. They also have these great dinner items for the grown-ups for $5 plus change and it includes your dessert. 7 people ate for $28? Are ya kidding me? Nope.

That all went okay. Miss M was emotional all day but easily and quickly redirectable. Sunday she did well in the morning but lots of attention seeking and picking at other's behavior was present. Redirectable but not as easily.

Sunday afternoon on the way to our religious meeting she took a turn. She became moody. We got out of the van and Dad gave the very pleasant directive to walk with him and Carter while Mom got Evan out of the van. Lot's of humfing and unpleasant attitude. Once sitting down we had the usual getting everyone straight with paper and pencil. Miss M is sitting nicely with paper and a pen she had brought. There is a no pen rule there and she knows it, this is not anything new. I had made sure she and all the kids had pencils before we arrived, they did. So I directed her and Viv who also had a pen to use pencil. Miss M nearly lost it right then and there but pulled it in. She then fell asleep. Now with a typical 6 year old the nap is most often a remedy to this negative behavior. With a kid who's brain does not function normally, not so much. At 2 and a half Miss M would have 45 minute long tantrums, fall asleep for 30 minutes, wake up and go back into the tantrum for another 45 minutes. That started right from the first week she was home with us.

We had set up for her to go and play at a friends house that afternoon. This Mom is aware of Miss M's diagnosis and knows how to keep everyone safe. I explained to Miss M that she would be allowed to go because she "kept a lid on it" and did not escalate when she was angry about the pen situation.

She did well at the friends house. Upon returning home she was in that mode that we call 'looking to fight'. I have heard other parents of kids healing from RAD describe the same situation. Kind of like a prowling lion looking for the week link their mind set has just gone into fight mode. So it was one thing after the other - Carter picked up the toy plain that she was going to pick up, hands on and teasing Evan, lots of clicking noises and singing the same annoying song over and over looking to get a reaction. Every single one of the other kids responded beautifully and handled each situation appropriately. She was still looking for fuel for her fire. I picked up the bucket of toy cars and headed into the boys room knowing that they would follow, they did. It was time to put on Evan's PJ's. He decided to be 3, he does that a lot lately. He had a 3 year old stand off about putting on PJ's. Nan came in to assist a struggling Mom.

During this Miss M heads over to Viv and starts picking at her. Dad enters and tries to assist, no go. He works with Miss M for several minutes and blocks and redirects attempts to hit him. Mentally she was gone before she started. She isn't going to calm down until her brain returns to her. So she full on rages, big and ugly. It had been exactly 21 days since her last rage. Mr. CBA will review the tape of the rage when he comes today.

Once she calmed down her normal bedtime routine went on as usual. She was irritable the following morning and nasty to all. When she came home from camp she was quiet but not irritable. Dad and I went in to talk with her about "her big feelings" that had lead to her being angry and having a tantrum. We talked about positive choices to make when she is feeling angry. All we can hope is that over time she will mature into being able to make these good choices even when she is angry.

The picture of her jumping on the trampoline was after our talk about feelings, which went well. So even though the weekend ended with a bang, all and all it was okay.

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