The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Testing - intake day

The Fabulous Miss M and I headed over to the university to start the process for a FULL psycho-educational evaluation.  FULL as in the size of the clinicians eyes as the intake of information was underway.  I kind of love how every clinician looks at the angel baby in front of them and then the process that's going on in their head as to how the kid I am talking about is supposed to be this angel in front of them.  Never fear I have video footage and you can talk to the various professionals who have witnessed it.   

The clinician took the FULL history down.  Pages and pages this lady was writing.  I also gave her permission to get information from the Psychiatrist and the CBA.  I told her what I had observed regarding Miss M's learning struggles, took her report cards and interim reports, told her about all the extra help she is receiving in school and still struggling, showed her the testing that we had done by the Linda-Mood Bell center, gave her Miss M's latest test scores from class and the weekly state assessments.

Miss M's demeanor was that of a traumatized unsure kid.  She was offered toys, she refused.  She was offered crayons and paper, she refused.  She stuck close to me and looked at the clinician with big scared eyes when addressed and otherwise she picked at her skin and clothes and looked off into space.  She had a bug bite on her arm that she picked until it was raw and then right in the middle of the intake she let me know that the bug bite hurt.  I offered her itchy cream and she said that would make it sting.  I offered her a band-aid and she accepted that and the we went on with the intake and she went back to looking off into space.

I asked her when we left if she felt uncomfortable at that place and she said no that it was fine.  That's not true and so I am guessing that it will surface a little later.  I asked her later in the evening if she wanted to talk about any of the things that were talked about in the meeting.  She said no.  I told her that everything that we talked about was okay things to talk about and that this was just something that kids do for school.  She said okay.

I wanted to address it but needed to keep it simple and say it in a way that I thought would best sink in for her.  We are scheduled to go back next week and begin the actual testing which will be video taped as well.  (PS I forgot to say that the person doing the intake and I spoke in "code" so while Miss picked up on some minor things she did not understand the big words that we used, mainly she was bored.  I did not give any info on birth mom and that situation because I don't want memories to be implanted for Miss.  I will give that info to the clinician at another time.  I did inform her of the "flashback" which touches on trauma history but that is what Miss had shared with me.)

This evening as we drove home I thought about all the help we have sought to deal with the issues at hand
  1. first our child's physician
  2. then a child psychologist that had already worked with our son, who advised us to seek out a
  3. therapist who specialized in RAD
  4. then a psychiatrist was added
  5. then the local child services was added, insert Social Worker # 1
  6. and 2
  7. then a child psychologist who came to our home to work with our family was added
  8. then a Certified Behavior Analyst was added (all before she was 6 years old)
  9. and we are still at this ... now with a University involved doing FULL psycho educational testing
Let's balance that with all 4 kids are sick again (because I think they never really get over it). 
The dog is sick again and back on antibiotics too. 
The "twins" have had special 'guess what Mom you get to do extra stuff for class this week because it's the last 3 days of school and the teachers have to keep them busy' - Pajama Day, Bubble Day, Pizza Party Day and and and times 2. 
The 4 year old is being a MAJOR toot toot who does not want to take his antibiotics so I had to take him back to the doctor but this time we had to go to the Urgent Care doctor because his doctor is on vacation this week so insert snarky looks from the Urgent Care doctor when I describe that he will NOT take his meds, then she had a go at him and understood what I meant.  I explained that I had put the CBA on the job the night before and that I was making more progress with the 4 year old then the CBA was.  He noted that we don't have an easy kid in the bunch.  Question Mark.
Today Big Sis had a dentist appointment 1 hour before Miss M's appointment.  Mr. C had his routine disrupted which does not and did not go well.  I actually threatened to have his CBA come to the dentist office.  The man next to us was getting really tired of the twerpy kid (Mr. C) who seemed way to big to be having this baby fit.  He tried to back me up and had over heard the threat and so piped up, "She's going to call him!" 
Mr. C quieted down so it was Lil Bro's turn to go bananas over being told he could not turn the stupid bead game upside down on it's wire top.  The thing is big and heavy and he was clearly going to break it so no you may not do that.  Insert the wham-o!  I had to take this child out to the bench in front of the dental office while he through a major tantrum.  He was all sweaty and snot faced and a complete crazed person.  Then Big Sis comes out and tells me I have to sign her out so I had to drag the sweaty snot faced banshee into the dental office so I could sign her out.  I so do not love those looks of 'why is your child such a whacko you must not know how to parent.'  I should however be used to them by now, shouldn't I?

As my dear friend stated the other dear, "motherhood is not for sissies!"


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Well that trip to the dentist just about describes my worst nightmare.

I'm excited about Miss's testing though. I hope you get some workable answers!

Mom 4 Kids said...

Yes, my worst nightmare too and there I was living it! I am excited as well to think we will have some workable answers. Although the primary reason for the appointment was for possible learning disabilities because this is the university they do a complete work up so they felt they needed the whole story and so I gave it to them. :-)

J. said...

there is a magnet on my fridge that says "you can't scare me I have children" perhaps we should make t-shirts. Good luck with the testing

Mom 4 Kids said...

Hey there Stellar Girl I love that! We need T-Shirts for sure!

Lisa said...

I love J's idea! Hoping the testing brings answers...