The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Monday, August 2, 2010

Big Lots Big Tots Tantrum

The 4 year old had a mighty tantrum in Big Lots today.  One man got so mad at him that he threw his cans of sardines and a few other things on the nearest shelf and stormed out of the store.  Sorry Big Lots for the loss of that 2 dollar and 50 cent sale.

The whole hullabaloo was because Lil Bro wanted to go to the toys and I had exercised my parental authority and said no.  For several reasons actually.  He was not behaving nicely and was using a rude tone of voice in how he was speaking to the mama and he had already been warned about that.  That isn't really the point, the point is that he was told no and he was not happy to have to accept that answer and so he kicked up a royal ruckus. 

I could have left and gone to another store to get my Gain and dish liquid but I was tired and I needed those items and it would not have gone better had we walked down to the Dollar General.  Mostly I was tired.

I was proud that I did not get huffy or anything when the lady toward the back of the line yelled, "Sorry about your luck kid but you aren't getting a toy!"  I was composed and I didn't get flustered.  I was confident that I knew what I was doing with this kid.  If I had hauled off and slapped him the store would have been in a tizzy about that so clearly I was not going to win in this situation.  My child was not behaving perfectly, their glares had no affect on his powers and my thought was if we bothered them all that much they could let us move to the front of the line so they did not have to hear us any longer.

Had I left the store then his tantrum gains the power to control where we are at and any time he wants to leave said location he will remember that tantrums are a sure fire way to leave.  He was annoying but he wasn't a raging loo-loo, he wasn't endangering anyone and the store personnel had not asked us to leave.  Most importantly I was tired.  If he had been out of control like snot flying and people getting kicked then I would have left but my decision was to stay put.  Right or wrong?  Probably simply a matter of opinion.

This  has become a problem lately with Lil Bro.  I am hoping that it will pass and that I won't have to put forth a whole lot of effort.  That sounds bad.  Here's how I have been handling it.  The kids usually get a little treat of some kind in the dollar range for good behavior.  Lil Bro has not earned the treat lately, everyone else has.  I talk to him after the fact and ask him questions about what happened to ensure that it is all computing for him.  It is.  He is fully aware that he is being a toot toot and that does not earn a dollar piece O junk.

Any thought filled feedback is welcome as always.  Say what ya need to say!


beemommy said...

Well, if you ever run into sardine man again, tell him where his can of itty bitty fish can go! You handled it so well! I know lil'bro is only four but he gets it, especially when he ain't gonna get it due to his choices. Hang in there.

GB's Mom said...

Couldn't have done it any better. As for the people in the store, such is life :)

marythemom said...

Way to hang in there!

I've had this happen so many times and I know you're "supposed to" leave the store, but with 4 kids and only so much shopping time...

I think the most embarassing time was in Salvation Army when my youngest (who was 7 yrs old, neurotypical, and NOT adopted!) chose to have his first (and only) full-blown meltdown with kicking, hitting, screaming and cussing - the works. He'd learned from the best, but luckily he wasn't as big as they were. I have to admit we actually got some amazing discounts for the rest of the year! Sympathy savings. Who knew?!

Mary in TX

Jay_Lee said...

Just so you know, you ROCK!! I have had the whole tantrum in the store thing lately too...or well, the parking lot of Wal-Mart. I wonder if it's the weather here in Fl right now. It's been ranging from hot to "omg, I'm melting" I'm sure it's the same in your part of the state.

Hang in there honey!! You're doing an amazing job.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

You're right, for a lot of kids leaving would have given him the power to control the next shopping trip and all the rest. For other kids, leaving then and there would work to prevent another toy fit next time. You have to sort of decide on the spot what is going to work the best. Also, there were 4 other people to think of! Sounds like it went well if no blood was shed (until after the doors were closed on the car, lol, JK).

What people haven't heard a good rockin tantrum anyway? Everyone with kids has! I want to get one of those Wonder Woman deflector wristbands for people with their dirty looks and rude comments! Right back at ya!

Mom 4 Kids said...

Essie I agree totally! With Big Sis leaving did make an impression that a tantrum wasn't going to get her where she wanted to go - toys! But with my little guy ...