The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Life as we know it ...

I have not felt like blogging lately. My thoughts have been scattered and my mood has been low. I just had that “as good as it gets” pity party going on.

Things have not been in crisis mode, which I should be thankful for. My daughter continues to be stable and my daughter continues to be a pain to live with. Some how crisis mode allows me to feel more positive than everyday pain in the butt mode does. And then I feel ungrateful.

The month of February was filled with I don’t want to take a bath and I hate homework rages. We handled the rages, everyone stayed safe. Then the behavior therapist suggested a bath pass earning program. I turned away as my eyes rolled up in my head because seriously I was not feeling the bath pass thing. We have be done so many things to accommodate a child who struggles with behavior problems at home but not at school that I literally felt done accommodating. I wanted to dig my heals in and say no more! When you are dirty you get a bath period because you are seven and that is the Mommy’s call to make. I tried to put on a good face but I was resentful that yet again we have to figure out some way to get this child to do what everyone else here is doing with out accommodations, including a child with Asperger’s and a four year old.

But … I sucked it up and went with the suggestion and it is working. Everyday that Miss has no bath tantrum or homework tantrum she earns a check on the board. Three checks in a row and she earns a bath pass card which she can use when she chooses. She cannot use the pass if she has poop in her pants. If she has earned one or two checks and has a tantrum then we start all over again, it must be 3 checks in a row. When she uses the pass we right pass on the board but it does not count as a check. In three weeks she has only had one tantrum regarding homework or bath. I should be thrilled and I do act thrilled to her but inside I am resentful. I am resentful that it takes this kind of effort to get such simple things accomplished. I should not be I know and I’m working on it.

Right now we are working through “due process” with the school to try to get our son’s IEP labeled correctly. Right now it is a language based IEP. His “language exceptionality” is based in his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) diagnosis of Asperger’s. We have brought this up for years and been brushed off. So we are now working with an educational advocate and hope to make progress, time will tell.

Mr. had a surgical procedure, nothing major, but his recovery took longer than expected. He missed a good bit of school because of it and he discovered upon his return to school he could say that his surgery site bothered him and that he would go to the clinic and Mom would come pick him up. So we had to address that issue.

His anxiety at school has been increasing and he wants to be at home with Mom. I am flattered and happy that he is most comfortable at home but he still has to go to school.

It’s Soccer time and Lil Bro and Miss Fabulous are both playing soccer now. The Hubs was recruited to coach Lil Bro’s team. There are 6 four and five year olds on the team, two of which are prone to crying when they don’t score a goal. They are cute as can be and the Hubs is doing a great job with them.

Miss started out strong and confident at her first practice. Second practice the coach tried to give her instruction as to how to kick the ball correctly and that was not a big hit with her. She went into passive aggressive mode where she missed every ball that came her way and only gave the appearance of participating but really was just kind of bopping around in the general area. I asked her what she thought of coach and she said that she could not understand him when he spoke. I told her to just do what he was showing her to do and she didn’t need to worry about understanding his words. As we know she is a very visual person and the coach was giving very good instruction visually, despite his accent.

So we hope that she will continue to be willing to show up to practice with out a bunch of boo-who. The evaluator who worked with her last spring recommended soccer to help Miss be a part of a team where the attention is not focused on any one person and you win by supporting the team.


deborah said...

Wow, I here you, girlfriend. I spend a lot of time trying to get over resentment, too, and I have much less to be resentful about than you do. So, don't be too hard on yourself. I think it just comes with the territory. Sounds like a lot to handle with the soccer thing. Hope that all works out for everybody. Sure have missed your blogging, of late, and hope you're in the mood more often now. :)

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

I badly just want to give you a hug. I'm close to you!!!