Thursday 11-20-08

WEEK IN REVIEW:
My blogging has been lacking. Not keeping up with my own journal here. I have been taking on some home projects. Number one was to clean out the garage which had become a pit of despair. Things are looking better in there now and we can find things more readily. However, the experience sent my asthma into a major flare up which I am still battling with. I need steroids but they make me sick and so I am fighting taking them. However breathing is right on the top of the list of importance so perhaps I should rethink that.

I have done a lot of lifting, pulling/pushing heavy things and that has sent my fibro myalgia into a flare up like I have not had in years. I need to see my family doctor about that but at the moment my insurance will not allow me to go to her so I have to decide what to do about a new doctor. I have had this doctor since we moved to Florida 6 years ago and she has been amazing. She is so supportive to our family and truly considers us personal friends of her's. I can talk to her about anything, and do. So how do I replace that? sigh...

Miss M has been doing better. Like all humans she has good days and bad days still but her bad days are not the bowels of hell at the moment. She raged this past Saturday and I did have to call her Psychiatrist. The rage had been going on for almost an hour and he said that was plenty long enough and to give her the med we have to calm her down. I was finally able to convince her to take a "sip of Coke" which is her favorite. I said, "here I have some Coke for you, you must be thirsty by now." To which she said "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I don't want your Coke!" And I think there was a "you poopy head" in there too. Who can remember? But once she switched gears to drink the Coke I was able to hand her the med and tell her that Dr. M said that it would help her boo-boo. She had a small hang nail on her finger and during the rage she had been going on about "my boo-boo hurts" and screaming and spitting and what not about it. It is interesting to me. I don't know why it happens, although I am sure it is explainable. But sometimes in these rages she will begin to focus on a hang nail or scratch or minor boo-boo she got outside or something. She will scream and yell about it as if it were an amputation. We assure it that the boo-boo is okay, put cream/band aid on it or whatever will appease her during the episode.

Anyway, after that she began to calm down and come out of it. We were able to get her in the bath (briefly) to clean up a bit and then she had her favorite thing, a bowl of oatmeal (which she calls "oint-meal", we are guessing perhaps a combo of ointment and oatmeal word confusion thing). I put chocolate syrup in it or chocolate chips so to her it must seem more like a dessert. It is good for her and she request it a lot. She fell asleep watching a show and eating her oint-meal. She slept really well and woke up Sunday morning ready to go as if nothing had happened.

That has been the only rage she has had in 2 weeks, a record! So the Abilify is definitely working. We met with her Psychiatrist and the social worker attended also. Dr. M said the Abilify can continue to help her to improve for up to a year. Meaning what we see is not all of what we get. He said the hope is her rages will continue to diminish and then stop completely. I said every two weeks is way better than everyday and multiple times a day, he agreed.

The social worker Mr. P has been coordinating a counselor/behavior analyst. The red tape in dealing with our insurance and who takes it has been a nightmare but we are finally getting somewhere. A CBA has been assigned to do an evaluation, the social workers agency has provided funding for that. And he has found a provider that takes our insurance for a more long term approach. That should all start soon, allegedly.

V and C have been having lots of nightmares and signs of anxiety. C is defiantly showing signs of OCD and anxiety. He had his 6 year old check up yesterday and his pediatrician said that if it became more problematic for him then we need to consider Zoloft to help with the OCD. He has times where he won't leave the house because of his fear of the rain. If he thinks he sees a cloud he will do his best to get out of going out of the house. He is now into picking his fingers and nails. He picked them so badly at school that his teacher had to give him a band aid. We are trying to continue to help him with out meds but after a conversation that he and I had yesterday I am not sure how long we should avoid the meds. He does better expressing certain things to me in writing. We sit and write back and forth in a notebook having a conversation. I asked him about his behavior and why he was not obeying and etc. He wrote "because I am not happy." So I asked what made him unhappy and he wrote "about my bad dreams" and a few other things which were anxiety/stress related. He is having terrible nightmares, in fact he always has. Screams as if he is being tortured and insist on getting to Mommy. He described gore in his dreams and seeing his own brain and people putting things in his head. This was the first time he has ever been able to tell me what happens in his dreams. He fights going to sleep really badly. Some nights I just have to set him up with comfort things and let him do his own thing. For me this is an example of letting Mommy instincts direct you. His pediatrician, who we love, has told me over and over that he can do it and to put him to bed and don't take no for an answer. It just has not felt like the right thing to do. She isn't here, she doesn't see the struggle that we his family witness. I believe this is what has been going on in this child's head all along but at 6 years old he is just now able to tell us why he is terrified to sleep. So with these things in mind Dad and I are giving consideration to med help. Not yet, but we are talking about it. We don't want any kid on med they don't need but we believe that you have to look at the quality of life for the child and the family. If the problem is negatively affecting life quality for a reasonable period of time then I think it is time to do something.

V is working on the science project. I am being recruited to help way too much. I have assured her that I passed the 4th grade and do not need to repeat it. Currently we are having an untimely cold snap for this part of the country. Which means we had to bring the monarch caterpillars in the house. Dad said "don't interfere with the data!" We are not interfering with the data as the pupa that are outside and the actual project are right where they made their chrysalis. However, if they die because of this cold snap we have the back gang in the house still eating away on milkweed. When they go to the pupa stage we can put them outside if we need to re-do the outside portion of the project. The inside pupa hatched into a butterfly but he was a dud. The darn thing fell to the floor and despite my heroic attempts to revive this creature his wings were crumpled and he never matured correctly. Yesterday he received his official burial at sea via the toilet. Anyway that isn't what the project was about so he served his purpose well any way.

V is also having lots of "bad dreams" and fears about something happening to Mom and Dad. Anxiety issues for sure. She also had an accident at school this week and had to go to the clinic to change her clothes. They called me and I brought her new clothes. She seemed fine and headed back to class, allegedly. Well at pick up time that afternoon here comes V's teacher Mr. G. Not usual to see him. He explained the V had been wondering for about 40 minutes after she left the clinic. What?! Obvious safety issues not to mention hello you are at school get to class. He was very kind about it and basically because she is such a good kid the school decided to simply give her a warning this time with the knowledge that if it happens again she will receive disciplinary action. Apparently she just had an anxiety type attach and could not go back to class. Fear of being teased and so forth. I can completely relate to that but told her a better choice would have been to go back to the clinic and ask to call Mom. She agreed and said she did not think of that.

By this time my fingers are getting tired from this week in review but I'm not done yet. E is still striping these days. He had a few days of diarrhea earlier in the week. It goes with out saying that striping and diarrhea just don't go together. He comes into the living room with a diarrhea diaper in hand saying "I poop." What to do? Since he was determined to stripe and coming out of any clothes like a magician. I put stuff on backwards, snaps in the back, you name it but it didn't matter because out he came. The solution was duck taping the diaper. I put it on backwards and taped across the fasteners. He was mad as a hornet and tried for 10 minutes to get that diaper off but it was officially stuck. He was yelling "I need hep (help)! Viv-in hep!"