The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Our Dad is Great!

Our Dad is a Great Dad! Mr. Carter was having a little upset about feeling left out of something and he went to Dad for a chit-chat before bed.

I am so glad that I keep my camera near by and ready to go.

And we have the moment captured forever.

Can you believe this angel baby face sleeping so peacefully under her "Families are Forever sign ...

had a tantrum from 11:30 am to 2:30 pm today?

She is cute enough to eat up with a spoon! I mean look at that sweetness cuddling tightly her 'Mama Bear' (it makes heartbeat noises and plays music and her Mama gave it to her so she calls it "Mama Bear").

Overall the weekend was good. There was lots of positive interaction between Miss M, Mr. Carter and Big Sis Viv. They played horses and vet and what not.

Miss M had lots of emotional reactions to various situations. Mostly she was redirectable and moved through it. Saturday she got herself turned around about going outside. Nan took Evan outside and Miss M started having a tantrum. "I want to go outside! I want to go outside!" Mom says, "Miss M did anyone tell you that you could not go outside?" "Noooooooooo!!!" Mom, "Okay so what are you yelling about?" "I want to go outside! I want to go outside!" Mom, "When you calm down and ask nicely it will be fine for you to go outside." Miss M, Lots of Loud Screams (think banshee). Mom, "You need to head to your room and calm down." "Nooooooooooooo!" 5 seconds later. "Finnnnnnnnnnne!" Followed by door slamming to her room. Opening, slamming, opening and throwing her sit kit into the hall way screaming "stupid kit!"

The sit kit is a tantrum helper that I came up with. It has comfort items inside which each kid help put together. Works great for Carter and Miss M throws the kit at us when she is angry so technically I guess that is using the kit? Any who ...

I go in to see if I can talk Miss M through this upset. Ask some questions regarding the situation to try to help her come back to reasoning. She did calm down but remained pouty and was looking to keep my attention. I let her know that I had laundry to do and that since she was all calmed down she could go outside whenever she was ready. She did not like that I was moving on, but after some yelling and griping on her own she headed outside and well ... pouted and griped at those outside. Eventually she moved on. The evening moved on and all was okay.

Sunday started out okay. When it came time to get dressed for our meeting she started yelling about a pink pair of shoes. Again, NO ONE HAD TOLD HER SHE COULD NOT WEAR THE DARN SHOES! I think she starts the stand offs in her head sometimes and is already full blow gone mentally before she ever opens her mouth to anyone else. She and Dad did not make it to the meeting. This tantrum started at 11:30 am included a nap around 1 pm and then continued on when she woke up. At 2:30 or so it was as if her switch flipped and she became happy happy. ??? The other kids had gone to dollar tree for a little something for good behavior at the meeting. She obviously did not get anything. She was not bothered in the least by this, no re-escalating.

Later after her bath I said to her, "Seems like you had some pretty big feelings today?" Miss M, "Yep." Me, "Want to talk about those big feelings?" Miss M, "Nope." Me, "Why not?" Miss M, "I'm too scared." Me, "Okay, that's really brave to admit that it scares you to talk those big feelings. Remember when you used to be afraid of swimming?" Lots of non-science stuff like, "When I was 10? No wait I mean when I was 5? 4? 3? 2? 1? Wait no..." Mom, "Miss M can we get back to this conversation? When you were 3 you were afraid of the water. Now you love to swim because you did not let your fear keep you from trying. It is the same with talking about big feelings. Once you say them, they aren't so big and scary anymore." Then we had dessert. :-)

That might seem kind of minor but for a kid with issues like Miss M that was a BIG talk. Friday she and Mr. Carter and I read a book about feeling afraid. She never would admit to feeling afraid. Even when I brought sleeping with a night light because she was afraid of the dark and that lots of people need night lights and that being afraid of the dark is something that a lot of people have to deal with. "I'm not afraid of the dark." "Well what about the night light in your room?" "I don't need it." "Okay." And back to the story. So two days later she admits that she is too afraid to talk about those big feelings.

At any rate these kids have a great Dad who hangs in there with them and their BIG feelings.

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