The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Feedback please!

Is it common for teachers to say and write "I love you" to their students?

I don't recall a teacher ever saying that to me during my school years. No teacher has said it to my other children. Dad and I would not be comfortable with a teacher saying this to any of our children but for a teacher to say this to Miss M who has a back ground of mental health and abandonment issues it is dangerous for a teacher to say this to her. Teachers don't stay in your life forever. You are with them for one year and then your 35 and can't remember half of their names. We all move on, that's normal. But for Miss M it is difficult for her each year when she loses her teacher for that year. It always brings up abandonment fears for her.

This teacher happens to be a woman as you may have guessed from the pink marker. What if it were a man teacher writing "I love you" on my daughters paper. I think folks would be having a cow.

Maybe Dad and I are over reacting? How would you feel if it were your child? Has this happened to your child?

This is actually the second teacher who has done this with Miss M. The first was in pre-school. That teacher never wrote it on a paper or art work done by Miss M she would sometimes say it to her though.


jessica bear said...

Bizarre! Kylie's preschool teacher is a witness and has come over to babysit and have dinner with us a few times, and she has said it to her and vice-versa, but that's a little different...for a formal teacher to say that to her on her schoolwork??? Hmmmm...have you discussed your concerns with her? What does Miss M say about her?

Mom 4 Kids said...

I agree the pre-school teacher who is also a sister is a different thing. I would be fine with that too. But this lady has known Miss M and all her students since August 10th for goodness sake.

I asked Miss M if the teacher says I love you to the students. She said yes. I asked if she says it to all the students and she said no. I asked if she says it to Miss M and she said yes. I just acted really "whatever" about the whole thing. I did not want to let on to her that it bothered me. It did not seem to bother her at this time but our concern is how it will affect her next May when Mrs. Teacher is no more. Yet another person who says "I love you" and then is gone.

We are working on a meeting with Mrs. Teacher.

PWNort64 said...

I do not think you are over-reacting at all. Based on the struggles you face, if it were me, I wouldn't want it said (or written) to my child.

I am sure that she thinks she is "helping". I would it imagine it would be awkward if a child said "I love you" to me and it was "out of bounds" for me to say it back. But actually writing it on her worksheet is just too much.

If it were me, I'd be scheduling time to have a chat with the teacher. There are lots of resources out there to use ( comes to mind).

Miz Kizzle said...

That's really strange. Is this teacher very young or new to the teaching game? I can't imagine why a teacher would write that when there are so many better things to say, i.e., "You're really trying hard!" "Great job!" and the all-time favorite, the smile face.

Jules said...

(sorry for the late comment, I'm new :)

What was the outcome of this when you spoke to the teacher about it?