Miss M went to the doctor today for her lingering head cold. It is not the Flu, no fever at all. Doc put her on antibiotics and the good stuff cough medicine. She is resting in my bed watching a video. I gave everyone assigned things to do. Mr. C was on Wii and Computer in the Living Room, Big Sis and Lil Bro were watching a Sponge Bog DVD in the boys room, and I was bed side with Miss M keeping her regulated.
She has done okay. She has been pretty passive aggressive toward me, but that's better than full out aggressive. And then ... everyone decided to pile into my room and watch Toy Story 2 with Miss M. I felt that rush of cold hot panic sick to my stomach feeling. You know where all the noise goes quiet and you hear your own heart beat? Yeah, I have my own PTSD.
Dad and I had tried to coordinate 2 adults. It just wasn't happening. Nan has state survey in the nursing home this week and so can not leave the building until the surveyors are gone. Dad had a day, everything pending, everything urgent, the big money accounts, etc. It was one o'clock when we left the pediatricians office and school gets out at 2:20. She isn't way sick, she is yucky nose sick. Dad said the option he could offer was to take her along with him and try to finish up as quickly as possible. I just didn't feel good about that. I felt like a crumb to take her back to school for an hour so that she could go to aftercare basically.
I said a prayer and asked for direction. She has been doing so much better. She has been more than a month with no rage fits. Her meds are right on track. She is improving all the time. So I decided to go for it. I have learned to be a manipulator for the positive. It hasn't been easy for me because like I have said before the direct approach comes more naturally to me. I don't agree with manipulating other people, say it like it is or don't say anything. But ... that just doesn't work so well with Miss M and what does work is helping her to feel as if she has control even if what she really has control of is the choices I have laid out for her. So I asked her, "Do you want to go with Dad to his work or do you want to go back to school? It's up to you." She was caught off guard at first and said "Dad". Then she said, "No, I will go back to school." I said, "Do you feel up to it?" She said she did so I said, "Okay."
It seems to work best for her to understand in this round about way that there are other options, she doesn't have to be stuck with me. Then as we neared the school, which is near to our house also, I asked if she wanted to go home and go to bed. Did she feel sick enough to go home and go to bed to rest? She said that she did.
We went to the pharmacy to put in her prescriptions. Then we came home and she took a little rest and watched a video in my room until it was time for us to go and pick up the other kids. She did okay on the car ride with the other kids. This has always been a big trigger for her. But she held it together. I went and picked up the meds, quickly. Then home and everyone to their assigned task.
She did the passive aggressive thing as soon as we got in the door. I gave her one of her Psychiatric meds early and her antibiotic, set her up with Toy Story 2 in my room and passed out afternoon snack. I have stayed right with her and then the others invaded my set up. They weren't going to take her getting all Mom's attention lying down. But it has worked out.
Dad called and said that he was on his way home - Dad to the rescue!!! And in fact he has arrived before I finished this post.
Yes we are nearing the end of Toy Story 2 and the Littlest Monkey here is quoting the movie saying, "A big ugg-we man doll." Woody has saved Jess and they are riding off into the sunset. Time to go.
1 comment:
I know exactly what you mean about the sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you can feel the storm about to hit and know there is little you can do about it. I'm glad it turned out well in the end though.
Post a Comment