Miss really picked up where she had left off, doing better than she had been doing before the ¼ mg dose increase. She was able to communicate verbally to me during our cuddle time that she had missed me and had cried for me once. You no doubt have come to realize that Miss can be somewhat dramatic. Her explanation of how she felt when she cried was pretty darn cute even though it was clearly over the top and a bit of a put on. She said, “I said to myself don’t cry M don’t cry but my heart just break open and I cry.” I don’t care if she was for real or not that is darn cute!
I think she is indeed making good progress with attachment. She is always going to be a person who struggles with a chemical imbalance and the more stable she is the better she is going to do in all areas, maybe.
Many of the trauma memories that affect her, with or without her realizing it, are going to be a challenge for a long time in terms of healing or resolving and putting them to rest.
We are taking her in May for psycho-educational testing at a local university as recommended by her psychiatrist. It’s affordable and because these are students they do a better than average job in terms of being thorough because they are being graded on the work they do. Her IQ, processing issues, learning disabilities and so on all affect her ability to function so knowing more in these areas will help us to help her. Because we are having the testing done we can be confident that the results are accurate and we remain in control of the results and presenting them to the school.
The kids’ interim reports came out today and once again Miss M’s grades had been whited out and changed by hand, again. A N (not demonstrated consistently) was changed to an S (satisfactory) and a U (unsatisfactory) was changed to an N (not demonstrated consistently). In short there are question marks as to why these kind of things keep happening for a child who clearly struggles academically. Having these upcoming test results will hopefully tell us what our little Miss has going on.
Speaking of what’s going on, Miss also picked up right where she left off at school. Aftercare called me today to inform me that Miss had been involved in a situation with her arch nemesis H. H is the little girl who Miss was found to be bullying at the beginning of the year. H has become fed up with Miss being a “Bossy pants” and “meanie”. Miss describes H as either her best friend or as being mean to her. It would seem H is her best friend when she does as she is told and she is mean when she tells the adults on Miss M. In a lot of ways it doesn’t sound all that different then a lot of little girl relationships, accept our Miss is NOT like a lot of other little girls at this school and history shows these ARE areas of concern. And these are not acceptable choices to us as a family, this is not how we treat others. Yet it seems quite accepted which is frustrating. But it sounded like the director handled it well and that’s what I told her and I thanked her for letting me know.
Miss struggles with perceptual difficulties within relationships. She plays the part that she believes a situation calls for and when she is comfortable she is the aggressor. We believe she is reaching a level of comfort at school where she is kind of getting the clue that nothing really bad is going to happen no matter what she does there. She has heard through the grape vine that going to the principal’s office involves getting a talking to, calling home and sitting in a desk outside her office – big woo! I am pretty confident that was not a good understanding for Miss to come to.
We keep working on the healing and working to rewire those connections that currently lead her to do what she does. I am grateful that she has made the progress that she has, even though we have a long way to go we have already come far.