The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

What’s Dem-A-Crazy?

I was just reading the accidental mommy blog and commented that parenthood was not a democracy and my little guy said, “What’s dem-a-crazy?” Funny stuff!

It means that parents make the decisions because it is our God given right and we know best and have the child’s best interest in mind. That said, sometimes we mess it up. We aren’t perfect either.

Shortly I’ll be going to pick up the fabulous Miss M from Grandma, I have that pit, I might puke, feeling. Being in an abusive relationship is not easy, you never know what is going to set the abuser off and it is more complicated when the abuser is your child.

She has had a good visit with the grandparents, she always does. She even wrote a little song and Grandma e-mailed it to me.

TODAY IS TUESDAY, TODAY IS TUESDAY

APRIL 27, APRIL 27

YESTERDAY WAS MONDAY,

TOMORROW WILL BE WEDNESDAY

HIP, HIP HOORAY!

MY GOING HOME DAY

That sounds like such a sweet awww kind of a song, doesn’t it? All I could think was holly heck she is going to kick my butt when she comes home! We talked to her on Monday and gave everyone an update on Mr. When she is at Grandma’s house she has a whole different voice tone, very sweet and kind of sing songy. That’s the voice that started out on the phone and then she realized that Mr. was with Mama and I heard her wheels start turning and her voice tone changed and … frankly I’m dreading the reunification of our clan. I am trying to talk myself out of it, it isn’t going as well as I hoped. The break from having to always be on watch and on alert is so needed and helpful but it’s hard to go back to reality. I always wonder was it a mistake to go for the break?

Maybe it will all go well and we won’t have any major acting out.

Maybe pigs really will fly!

3 comments:

GB's Mom said...

Pigs probably won't be flying today. I hope the break refreshed you. It is a good thing you are an awesome mom!

Diana said...

Oh, I've so been there on this one. For about the first year or so we had our kids, we RARELY went anywhere. It simply wasn't worth it. We'd go and be refreshed for a few hours and would come home to complete and utter chaos that undid the effects of the refreshment in oh, about 2 minutes flat. Unsuspecting people would sometimes offer to take the kids for a bit, but we never took them up on it...unless it was a MUST and unless they were responsible adults who were at least somewhat receptive to what they may be getting themselves into AND the kids already knew them. Leaving them with teenagers, forget it. We did it a few times, but it was horrible every time, no matter who was babysitting. Even the best and brightest and most responsible were leveled by my kid and went home in tears.

It's better now for two reasons...one, time, and the other is that we've moved closer to family whom we see all the time and have kids the same age as my kids. Generally speaking, my kids are masters at holding it together in public and around other people. But, as they're getting to know and trust the rest of the family more, they're having a harder time keeping up the facade around them. They're also learning they can't pull crap over on the adults in charge because they tell mommy everything. :-)

That sinking feeling is the worst, though. Its the reminder that things really aren't going as well as we have been pretending and we're NOT normal families. Breathe through it. Look at what is driving her behavior (separation, anxiety, fear of abandonment, etc) and address that, rather than the symptomatic behavior issues.

Praying there's a pig somewhere that sprouted wings!

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Something just flew passed my window... not really sure what...