The Crew - Miss Fabulous, Lil Bro, Big Sis and Mr. Man

Monday, September 20, 2010

Gotcha Day No Mas

I let go of gotcha days.  Maybe they will make a come back later.  They are unsettling to my kid with RAD and no one noticed when we did not do them. 

Yesterday was Miss Fabulous 5 year anniversary as a loo loo crew member. 

She had a major blow out Thursday evening.  But didn't blow out again through out the weekend.  In fact she did great Sunday and that was her gotcha day.  She has never done well on her gotcha day, accept she did.

She and I spent 40 minutes in a therapeutic talk Friday about her blow out Thursday.  We talked about what was really bothering her.  She doesn't like it when we get down to the nitty gritty.  She feels outed and she doesn't like that.  Understandable.  But she can't work through what she won't admit to.  So we are working on that.  It's going pretty well.  In the past she would have tantrumed and raged to avoid the talk.  After a big bad battle it would have avoided the talk, but not any more.  Now after the rage we go back to the talk.  So at least some of the time she is skipping the rage.  Progress.

She is doing better than ever in school.  Her beginning of the year assessment last year was "low intermediate" and "beginner" scores which are as low as they go.  This year she scored "high intermediate" on everything which included reading, writing and listening skills.  I gave it to her and told her she should be proud that her scores actually showed how smart she is this year.

But it seems that since she is doing better than ever at school we are getting more mess at home.  As Jeri said, we should be flattered that she is comfortable enough to release her anger on us.  I am working on it.  As her behavior therapist stated "she is comfortable enough with you all to hurt you."  Well we are working on that too.

Keep moving forward...


GB's Mom said...

Progress! Not the most pleasant kind, but still progress. Great parenting :)

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

We don't do gotcha' either. Genea moved in on her birthday. People kept asking when we were going to have her birthday party and I kept saying, as soon as she settles in a bit. Well that never happened. We celebrated her 5th birthday instead. Celebrations are a change and even a change with cake is still a..... change!

Tara - SanitySrchr said...

We are having GREAT days at school with Bam Bam, but not overly fun ones at home. He's been mostly manic...until he's told no to causes immediate downturn.

The LaBelle Family said...

Hang in're doing a great job! It's hard and may get harder, but, know you have support when you need it. Love to the family. ;)